Sunday, February 7, 2010
750th post!
anyway, i HAD to blog.
Have to get some stuff of my chest.
Did god really put my sorry ass in this world just to get judged?
Why is everybody so judgemental about things.
Why do people even have opinions?
Did god give people brains to think the bad of other people?
or was it through human actions that we've stained our souls with sin?
I read this book/watched this show( i forgot what) and it read/said
'Its only through the bad things which good things can be measured'
True? I would think so.
TWITTERS AMAZING.
you twit whatevr you're doing/feeling and pretend people actually care when you know they dont.Maybe its just me, but it gives me this sense of satisfaction.
its just awesome la(:
follow me by the way!
www.twitter.com/mandabreyl
Its kinda true how the papers sais how stalkers madee use of twitter to well, stalk their targets.
creepy but, oh well, for once something in the world is to their advantage(:
Not saying its good. Not saying its bad.
But there SHOULD be a fair share of things in the world.
oh well, i better hit my ss book now. revise through my stuff AGAIN.
Dont know how many 12345678907654321 times ive read through and memorised.
written
10:44 PM
Friday, February 5, 2010
School was, well, wouldnt say productive in any way.
Considering the fact, all the lessons after recess were free because none of my subject teachers were in school.
right...
Gods way of saying 'amanda, use the time to study for your maths ct1 after school!'
i did anyway.
Can say that the paper was generally OKAY.
No garantee pass and thats the sad thing.
oh well.
Choir after that.
and homed after.
I just broke my NO-GOSSIP POLICY today.
oh well, I WONT STOP TRYING TO NOT GOSSIP.
yeah babaye!.
written
10:42 PM
Thursday, February 4, 2010
Ive decided to keep it and deal with it myself.
Planning my time and when to do things.
ive got a guilty conscience.
But i need to do what i can to help myself :(
OHOH and 85$ for 8 classes, I think its kinda worth it? about 10$ per lesson.
I WANT I WANT.
oh mummy, please.
First things first, how to ask her?
Another thing, ive got ALOT of inner conflict in me now.
I need to make choices, A HECK LOT OF CHOICES.
Plus, Its the time of the month and im pmsing like crap too.
I sprained my right hand. Cant apply too much pressure on it.
But guess what? i dont think my parents would write a letter to excuse me from PE tml.
Cos they'd think i just wnana skip PE.
oh well, i;d just do plank and push ups with one hand.How hard would that be? :S
My lifes in a total mess.
I need to think.
But the worlds so noisy, I CANT EVEN HEAR MYSELF THINK ANYMORE *screams*
theres Lit and Maths CT1 tml.
Dont know why, but im kinda looking forward to choir.
AND AND, SJC'S OFFICE SUCK.
they're useless and dumb. Go die :(
did i mention i was on a NO-GOSSIP POLICY?:D
see how long that'll last.
What else, I still dont get the fact why they cant just take the money?
*cries*
Lastly,
I MISS YOU A HELL LOT.
written
7:08 PM
Tuesday, February 2, 2010
Im getting upset with every single thing thats happening.
every single person.
every single choice.
Probably, its because, i yearn for the day, we both realise, its not gonna work out.
I dont wanna be in it alone.
I want you to be there to slide a mattress under us if we fall.
Is that such a big task?
I want this as much as you do :/
written
7:30 PM
Saturday, January 30, 2010
You two-faced annoying ass :(
When i felt this way a few weeks back, i told myself, to let it go.
everybody loves you anyway.
Blowing my top issnt going to solve anything.
But NOW, when im feeling it again,
i feel like taking a bus down to your house and slapping you.
You've got not a clue how much i want to slap you.
seriously, i think i would when i see you.
Screw you la.
Im not the only one who feels this way.
written
4:03 PM
Wednesday, January 27, 2010
Slept early yesterday.
Felt much better in the morning.
Probably slept away all lousy feelings.
I dont get it why i can blog so much about something but never have the courage to tell a friend about what im going through and all.
Maybe cos i think its somthing too commonly done?
Plus, if you think about it, does sharing the burden with someone else, help?
Or is it just ones mentality?
Whatever it is, im most slightly too embarrassed to talk about what im going true.
Its not a pretty thing to talk about anyway.
SO, on a lighter note,
ELINA CUT BOY SHORT(:
and im beginning to tink my hair looks like a helmet:/
HAHAHA,
layered and short and and it swings to one side.
LOVE THE SWINGING PART. <3
The days been awesome.
In school that is(:
written
7:59 PM
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
why cant you just disown me and get it over and done with?
Sometimes i wish i could end your suffering of always doing work and supporting the family and all.
i wanna remove that burden and have you to have one less person to worry about. one less person to feed.
one less person to make you feel you're underappreciated.
You seem happier with just 5 children anyway.
Elder sister seldom home, and i know youve washed your hands off her years ago.
3 brothers you're proud about. I know you're VERY proud of who they've become. I can tell.
and one small girl that seems to give less trouble. Shes more obedient anyway.
I dont get why im always affected by this shit.
I dont get why everytime im watching both of you with sam,
It makes me feel as though i shouldnt be there.
And that even if i do pack up my stuff and go, no one would know im gone.
I appreciate you as a mother. I appreciate every single thing you've done for me.
Really, i do.
I just dont know how to show it.
Trying hard not to let you down.
Setting my goals as high as it can be so that i'd finally do smth that'll make you proud.
Crying, issnt gonna solve anything.
Its all about the results.
Most of the time, when i step home, i have this undying urge to just pack my bag and leave.
But where would i go next?
Im under ALOT of pressure.
SO much, no one would understand.
and i really mean no one.
anyone who says they know how i feel.
BULLSHIT.
cos you can never feel the same thing as another.
Its never the same.
I'll never be the daughter you'd be proud of.
I'll leave that to sam to achieve.
Im done with this.
Why try so hard to be smart when i know im not?
Why try so hard to be self-disciplined and stick to my self-timetable?
Do you know how difficult it is to keep up with this pace?
Do you even know what im going through?
Its obvious you dont.
Cos in your eyes, i'd always be someone lazy,someone not as smart as the rest, someone who just spends her life away.
I feel worst. Theres so many things i'd want to say.
But ive summed it up in 3 phrases.
Sometimes i wonder.
this line 'i love you. you do know that right?'
Do they really mean it or is it just some line all parents have memorised.
written
8:09 PM
Sunday, January 24, 2010
YES YES, i just came back from the salon.
I must say, its an obvious change of hairstyle.
wasnt what i wanted but it has that SWING SWING effect thingy.
AWESOME OR WHAT?!
I look, hmmm, apple head.?
There issnt any word to describe.
I NEED A HAIRBAND >:( !
cant find it anywhere now.
I dont regret cutting though :/
I look like maryanne+winona+esta put in one.
SCARY but theres no easier way to describe it.
HAHA.
written
5:45 PM
Saturday, January 23, 2010
i need music.
written
1:32 PM
Friday, January 22, 2010
Theres some stuff ive been hiding.
Some stuff ive kept to myself.
Some stuff i hope i can get over.
For the past few days.
Im either too tired or distracted during lessons.
Why does everything suddenly remind me of you?
I must say, its amazing how just ONE sms from you,
A simple sms like that, triggered the memory lane.
I didnt like the feeling of it.
But the only thing i could do was to get upset over it.
Was to throw my temper at everyone around me.
Esp during lit class when i lost my cool.
sorry guys.
Why upset. I dont get why i cant get over you.
I dont get why everything seems too perfect whenever you're around me.
And i definitely dont get why im so afraid of facing you again.
By far, you're the only person who's able to make me feel this way.
Probably thats why im so upset.
I know it doesnt make sense.
I dont know what to feel. or what to say.
Tell me how.
written
10:58 PM
Thursday, January 21, 2010
I.WANT.TO.CUT.MY.HAIR.AGAIN.
hahaha,
i think ive got this THING for haircuts.
exciting!
yeah yeah, my hairs STILL short.
but no harm trying out a different hairstyle?
probably cutting it tml with tessa.
'Just below chin,cut to the front please. Fringe just below eyebrows'IMAGINE people (:
and tessa spoke to me about CLB today.
walao, did i make a wrong choice in dropping art than to drop to CLB?
*cries*
I hope i did the right thing.
really! :/
OH! and
4Faiths improving! in terms of their behavior in class for the past few days.
AWESOME.
I Love My Classmates. I Really Do.
and teachers should really stop with the 'wheres 4Faith?' thing in front of the entire corhort or not to mention, SCHOOL.
gosh, embarrassing much.
written
4:38 PM
I stay back in school TRYING to study.
Today, i gave up and went back home.
gawd, its so difficult to keep up the pace :(
TRIED STUDYING WITH TESSA.
gosh, hectic man!
HAHAHA, didnt even do anything :(
probably just read like 5 lines and highlighted 3 words.
walao,
anyway,
TESSA, IF YOU'RE READING THIS, HOPEFULLY OUR IDEA OF STUDYING WORKS YEAH?
haha, if i fail my Os, you
will WONT be the cause of it. NO PRESSURE!
(:
so awesome,
i hate people who say they dont study and end up secretly mugging behind our backs.
i strive to be like them.
ENOUGH CLUES?
this post may not be.............omgosh, baileys is tempting me :/
written
4:27 PM
Friday, January 15, 2010
How i wish i were better at piano:(
How i wish i self learned the piano and not the guitar.
How i wish i had the time to better my piano playing.
PIANO PIANO!.
CHOO CHOO(:
written
8:09 PM
Thursday, January 14, 2010
I DIDNT STUDY TODAY! :(
written
6:47 PM
Sunday, January 10, 2010
Spoke to one of my brothers good friends today.
'Just study, dont think about what you're gonna get'
'Lucks not gonna play a part in anything after you actually do the paper'
'Well, in life, all you need is a small group of friends and family to give you happiness'
wise or not?(:
I would think its words of wisdom.
And somehow a wake up call too?
Its true.
Why am i thinking of what im gonna get?! why is everyone doing it?
Im just gonna study hard.
Put in my best.
Thats all that matters!
Third statement.
Its so true(:
Who ever said having LOTS of friends= happiness.
I know no one said having a small group of friends=happiness either.
but having a small group of friends.
issnt it MUCH easier to cope with?
No gossiping so much.
NO stupid thoughts about people stealing people away.
NOTHING.
Its just us 4.
and i thank god for you people all of a sudden(:
written
8:13 PM
Friday, January 8, 2010
I dont get why people like to INDIRECTLY ask me 'you sure you can achieve that?'
i mean, issnt target setting something personal? Something you yourself know you can achieve.
Stop doubting people if you think you cant do it.Stop looking at peoples target setting and go 'sure can? sure? what if...'
I DONT CARE.
if i know i can, i can.
If you're gonna be so scared of not being able to achieve whatever,stop trying to pull people into the same boat as you. I really dont get it.
Whether im dropping art or not, i dont need comments.
Not now that is. I dont need a 'huh?drop art? that how this how?'
GOSH, imagine what im feeling goshdammit.
Whatever la.
so anyway,
Went for NP's open house.
GOSH,
it was damn lively.
damn fun.
we got free goodie bags.
we got free tee shirt.
we got lots of freebies.
and last but not least,
ive definitely got an end in mind(:
amazing how that feels.
Im kicking CJC out of my life.
Poly, here i come.
had a talk today about goals and targets.
Goals is the overall picture.
Targets are what you wanna achieve to get to that goal.
Little by little, im sure i can.
I know i can.
I dont know why im so confident.
I just know it feels good to be willing to work hard.
No point feeling so scared for Os if i know i'd work very very extremely hard.
feeling scared for Os is a waste of your time.
Seriously (:
Back to the open house.
ITS DAMN NICEEEEEE. cant wait to get my ass into the course i want.
We went through every school there.
Elina and i that is.
She found media flims interesting.
and well, me? found something else.
Its really between Ngee ann and temasek now.
But the course still remains.
Theres a small difference but it still covers the same thing.
ANIMALS. i remember telling myself to go back
to save the stray dogs in bangkok. thats what im gonna do babaye!
Most probably I'd choose ngee ann over temasek.
Oh well(:
written
6:17 PM
Thursday, January 7, 2010
Spoke to my mother about dropping art.
Shes agreed to the idea.
RELUCTANTLY that is.
But she thinks that if im confident ill do well if i drop, she'll just go with it.
I know i will do well and ive got to do well.(:
DINING AND ETIQUETTE COURSE.
stoopid as hell! :(
Cotton on heels=4 inches high=KILLER.
hahaha,
rach and i wore the same heels and trust me, it was killing both of us.
I mean, it was okay at first. But it got WAY WORSE at the end.
WAY WORSE as in to the extent, i nearly cried walking to city hall mrt station from suntec city.HAHA.
THAT PAINFUL.
but im glad both my feet are on the ground now.
no tippy toes. NOTHING. but its damn sore :/
OHOH! and standing in an mrt train with 4 inch heels after about 9 hours in it, issnt very pretty.DAMN UNGLAM. took a train to sengkang and took 161 straight.
I did smth very unglam when i alighted the bus. and no, im not gonna tell you people i took off my heels at the bus stop and walked bare footed all the way home.
NONO, im not gonna tell you people that :D
im such a loser.
but what the heck, i'd rather be a loser than sprain my ankles.(:
anyway, they teach us the stupidest methods to eat peas..
We're suppose to smash them onto the back of the fork with our knifes. WHAT HECK MAN.
HAHAH, i had a great time trying to contain my laughter.
Sitrring the coffee and all. WHO GIVES A SHIT.
we ate any oh how anyway.
If we knew the teachers wouldnt check our dressing.
trust me, i'd have worn flats.
GOSHDAMMIT, why didnt i want to go against them by just coming in jeans and sneakers like that cool girl in 4H did!:(
sadded.
Well, so heading down to singapore poly tml.
Im not very interested in going there for the open house.
wanted ngee ann, but oh well. I can always head down to ngee ann by myself.
SP issnt so bad i guess.
Hope its not as boring.
ALOT OF PHOTOS TO BE UPLOADED.
fb sucks when it comes to uploading photos.
dammit :(
im VERY VEYR VERY HAPPY im dropping art.
i enevr felt so confident in dropping a subject in my life before.
(not like i ever did drop a subject before la)
oh well.
BYE PEEPS
written
8:10 PM
Tuesday, January 5, 2010
'Start with an end in mind'
o level year.
What am i suppose to feel?
Stressed?
8 more months=32 weeks.
how many days?
Do the math(:
Chinese, gahhh. really./ im begging for help.
Science, i know i can manage.
Humans, i...i...guess im okay?
Im thinking of dropping art anyway.
Its too time consuming.
plus, i hate art. yes, i really do.
im not the kind who does last minute work and still it looks nice.
Nppe, im not.
CLB. screw it. Im not dropping my chinese.
Taking a big risk?
well, i know Os issnt something to play around with.
But if i know its for the better if i drop art.
I know it.
Im just confused. thats all ./
god, please help me.
written
9:35 PM
Friday, January 1, 2010
HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE.(:
I wish i had spent the eve with my friends.
They had fun well, i had a somehow predicted news years eve to new years day?
idknow.
Ive been making alot of wrong decisions lately.
Theres this anger i have in me towards family.
expecially my younger sister.
Her voice irritates me.
I'd kill to have my own space away from her.
Issit wrong?
Often enough, I need to sit down and remind myself
'hey,im only 15. Too much freedom issnt good'
Even the questions i ask myself which i always have no answers to
Questions like.
'What happened? i use to look forward to family gatherings'
'why do i feel like that when they arent doing anything?'
'Why did I change to someone so emotionally challenged'
I really dont know how to answer.
people tell me
'familys blood related, friends arent blood related to you at all'
and i go..'your point is?'
Have i really turned so rebellious?
I had this talk with my cousins about how ew're gonna split our own ways soon and that we wouldnt be meeting up anymore.
I can admit, i think i'd be the first to drift.
Am i becoming someone i dont know?
If my conductor were here, he'd say that im mentally weak.
and i really really get what he means now. About how strong your frame of mind needs to be to overcome challenges in life.
Right now, this obstacles too heavy.
I feel tired emotionally.
My parents arent people i'd talk to when im troubled.
Neither is any of my family members.
Such a big family but i feel so alone.
I feel sad to admit that i feel much happier with friends than with family.
Why is that so?
'its normal la. you've reached that stage of life'
I feel so confused. So puzzled. So annoyed. So..............frustrated with everything thats going on now.
Why cant anything be put in a pause.
Why cant just everything stop?
I need the space. I need time to think things over.
I need to be away from everything.
I cant stand how i so naturally put up a happy front when i see my friends.
I cant stand how i so naturally hate my younger sister for doing stuff she does.
when i know after that, I'd feel like shit.
I dont wanna be a bad girl.
I wanna be good and still have fun.
I dont wanna be mummys girl or daddys girl.
I still want my freedom but i wanna learn how not to abuse it.
I want to set my piriorities right in life.
I dont wanna be too sensitive but yet still feel for things.because sometimes, being too sensitive, makes you heartless.
I want to be independent.
But not to the extent i feel my parents dont care anymore.
I want to learn how to control my temper, how to be more loving.
With all this, am i asking to be perfect?
Is it not possible to be all that and still nott be perfect?
I need time.
but its running out.
and I'm running out of energy too.
written
1:13 AM
Wednesday, December 30, 2009
I LOVE MY FRIENDS!
THEY SUPRISED ME AT MY DOORSTEP AT 9.04pm!
I WAS IN MY PYJAMAS.:(
tweety bird somemore.
anyway,
THANKS TO RACHEL ONG,TESSA,ELINA,MARTINA,CLARA,CHARLENE
you guys really made me feel happy about my birthday.
Of course, belle, you played a part too(:
i didnt expect you guys to suprise me with mango cake.
FAVOURITE FRUIT(:
and charlene gave me cake facial spa:(
THANKS FOR SMASHING THE CAKE IN MY FACE YOU IDIOT.
haha, i love you all the same.
I know i said it before and over and over again,
but i really really do love you guys.
You made everything fall into place again.
If you guys hadnt appear,i dont know what i'd be feeling.
but you did and it made me feel so grateful.
OH and im sorry i left you guys outside with the cake and lited candles.
I wanted to change out of my tweety bird pyjamas.:/
AHAHHAHA!
301294 IS DEFINITELY A DAY TO REMEMBER!.
LOVES
written
11:40 PM
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME.
I'm finally 15!
woke up very very early to look for my swimming stuff and to get ready for an outing with friends. but it was cancelled :/
oh well.
Now i cant get back to sleep.
Of course, im disappointed and upset.
i mean i cancelled everything else for this......
okay, forget it.
Chipmunks 2 with belle (last minute plans) was great (:
subway after and she left early cos she had to work.
At least there was one good thing that happened.
Im grateful she asked me out. Or i think i'd really be stuck at home regretting on the many people i cancelled on :/
Birthday dinner later.
I guess its going to be great, i know it will be.
I wish it will be. I dont want another let down.
Lastly,I'm really Sorry to those i turned down cos i said i was going out with my other group of friends! :(
If i knew things would turn out this way, I would have just said yes. but i didnt, didnt i?
Have a fun and blessed day everyone.
i think everybodys enjoying this day more than i am.
Yes, i really do think people are enjoying it more than i am.
WHO SAYS BIRTHDAYS WERE SPECIAL?!
its just a day to remind you when you were born.
issnt it?
written
9:10 AM
Sunday, December 27, 2009
Slept over at xines place last night.
Only went to bed at around 4?
cos alex and mackie left around 2 plus close to three.
GAWD, it was fun with them:D
all the camwhoring and recordings we did.
I just realised tuning a guitar using youtube is possible.
awesome shit.
so, reached her place around 5?
caught up with fionna and amelia.
alex and mackie came, they left.
THEY LEFT SUPPER EARLY:(
awkward aint it?
it was for me.
I guess its easy to guess why right?
Cos im not gonna bother explaining.
one things for sure, i didnt deliberately try to do anything.
Really, i didnt.
All i tried to do was start a conversation.
But i guess i knew i shouldnt have expected so much cos we've been like that even BEFORE you left.
What makes me think we'll be back to where we were way way before.
i guess its just my wishful thinking.
Then again, i think you enjoyed the dinner without me.
There wouldnt be any awkwardness between me and you like how it was at xines place.
What happened?
I knew about the smsing btw. It added on to the never ending feeling of just walking out of the room and waiting till you left. but i didnt.
In hope of having a conversation but it failed terribly didnt it?
you were damn bored anyway.
sorry i couldnt do anything to save you from the boredom.
I just didnt know how.
In your eyes, im always a bitch la.
I cant even rmb what i did before.
better luck next time i guess, if there is a next.
written
4:46 PM
Saturday, December 26, 2009
Im addicted to when i look at you by miley cyrus.
Well, 4 more days to my day:D
Awesome.
Schools nearing.
2 months went by so........QUICKLY.
oh man!.
anw, off to xines place for high tea later.
finally, im able to see fionna:D
written
10:36 AM
Friday, December 25, 2009
Merry x'mas everyone.
I think the best gift i pray god would give me is patience,love and the wisdom to understand.
I guess i havent been a wonderful daughter to my father.
Not after all the times ive shouted back at him.
I guess, i stopped thinking about the fact that he's getting old?
& that him being partially deaf and a bit senile might be the cause of him always constantly naggin and shouting at me.
Since i dont know, even before the bangkok trip.
okay, lets just put it this way.
I cant remember when was the last time i spoke to my dad nicely.
Im constantly shouting back at him when he shouts at me.
Im constantly ignoring him and just walking off when I cant be bothered to listen to him.
When i think back, i tell/ask myself, 'WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU?'
'UNDERSTAND HIS DIFFICULTIES BETTER GOSH DAMMIT'
'STOP SHOUTING AT HIM YOU DUMBASS'
'GIVE HIM THE RESPECT HE NEEDS AS A FATHER'
and there, no matter how nerve wrecking he can be. No matter how much he shouts at me in the public. No matter how grumpy he is, No matter how much nagging he gives. He still loves me the same. I shouldnt be angry. I should be a loving daughter. I should understand that he's getting old. I should stop this hatred thats in me. and i really Should ask for forgiveness.
On that note, Im sorry dad :(
written
3:46 PM
Wednesday, December 23, 2009
You loved me for who i am.
Like the stars that holds the moon.
Right there where they belong and i know im not alone.
when my world is falling apart.
when theres no light to break up the dark
thats when i look at you
when the rain are flooding the shore and i cant find my way home anymore.
thats when i look at you.
written
7:58 AM
Tuesday, December 22, 2009
I wanna start on a new song(:
but its suddenly so hard to pen my feelings down.
Probably cos now, its the real thing.
My inspirations to have that emotion.
To mean every word and to sing it with pride.
Its more difficult for some reason.
To choose the right words.
To make sure the tune and lyrics fuses well to form a melody.
Sometimes the feelings something, no word in the dictionary can describe,
but ive gotta try anyway.
Musics always there when i need company.
It never lets me down.
And for that, im grateful:D
written
7:50 PM
Monday, December 21, 2009
BANGKOK WAS, AWESOME.
i hugged a tiger.HUGE ONE. and i fed a tiger cub on my lap(:
Ive ALWAYS wanted to hug a tiger. really! and i cant believe i did.
*beams*
coral island was AMAZING.
had the chance to parasail.
like some guy on the jet ski rides it and then you're with a parachute pulled along with it.
GET WHAT I MEAN? it WAS AN EXPERIENCE MAN!.
parachutings fun! NEXT ON MY LIST IS DEFINITELY SKYDIVING.
anyone up for it?(:
OH and i learnt how to ride a jet ski. Dear samantha was of course the passenger and well, SHE SAID IT WAS FUN:D
i mean considering the fact i went far into the ocean, speeding. it was what someone would call 'a bumpy ride'
BANANA RIDE WAS COOL TOO.
Ive had MANY dreams:D
firstly, before this experience, ive always wanted to be a musical farmer. Basically a farmer who sings and all.
NOW, i wanna THAT PERSON who makes a difference in bangkok. to safe all the dying stray dogs on the streets of bangkok OR probably be THE ONE who raises tigers along with dogs. so that they work hand in hand:D awesome job? i would think so.
so anyway,kayy, let me tell you. Apart from the AWESOMEness of the trip, i witnessed some thing i would like to share.
Since i was on a tour round the city.
i was basically on the bus most of the time.
I see dogs. MANY OF THEM.
some curled up.
Some fighting.
Some with wounds.
Images i never thought would ever exist. cos i fear to believe such things do happen.
When i walked along the streets of bangkok.
i saw A few dogs with wounds.
NOT SMALL WOUNDS.
but HUGE ONES.
infested with maggots. -imagine the pain the dog is going through
either infested with insects feeding on the flesh and blood of the poor dog or the wound infected.
either way, it just makes my heart break.
On the bus, i witnessed, two dogs feeding on this dead lying along the road.
IMAGINE HOW HUNGRY THEY ARE TO FEED ON THEIR OWN KIND.
its like US, feeding on some other human. how gross man! i mean even if it does come to a stage where we starve like heck. i'd rather just starve to death. and i would think that was exactly how the dead dog died before being the food of other stray dogs.
I even witness some dogs with only one hind leg.
The other left or right legs just dangling off.
OMGAWD LA. a broken leg... and its still walks around in look for food and water.
i see lots of people around these dogs.
POOR THINGS.
and i ask myself 'WHY ISSNT ANYONE DOING ANYTHING?'
that is why my fellow earthings,
i wanna make a difference in their life.
People might be thinking 'WHY GO TRHOUGH ALL THAT FOR A BUNCH OF DOGS?'
My answer, ' they're still living creatures with feelings'
Besides, each time i see a dog suffering, a piece of my heart breaks.
I feel for them.
And i think its time ANIMAL CRUELTY should stop.
written
12:40 AM
Wednesday, December 16, 2009
IM GOING TO BANGKOK BABAYYE(:
awesome.
I wanna hug a tiger! and when i do, I'd TAKE A PHOTO.
seriously.
tigers are so bloody adorable.
I see them as well, giant cats with BIGGER and SHARPER claws and teeth.
Fried mealworms. Hopefully they taste the same as what tessa bought back.
I.CANNOT.WAIT.
THIS.IS.SO.EXCITING(:
even sam's jumping up and down.
WOOT.
written
5:45 PM
Sunday, December 13, 2009
I feel well, sad that confirmation is over.
Had a real hard time convincing myself that I had to move on with life cos i may/may not be able to see my great friends again :(
Being in the NC way, not saying its bad.
but i guess it totally swipes me of IHM for, well, the rest of my life.
I may not show it/ tell anyone how im feeling inside, but one things for sure, I know a part of me DOESNT want to let go of the cool times spent with my cat mates.
Youth group, i wanna join. But choices comes with sacrifices and vice versa.
Its not as simple for me to just join another youth ministry. Its not.
Yeah, it brings me to a conclusion, i find so hard to believe.
So hard to think about.
The thought of totally not seeing my fun group mates ever again.
Worst, my eyecandy for the whole year, GONE :(
yes, i said it on my public blog.
I DO EYECANDY A GUY IN CAT CLASS. and no, im not gonna name who it is.
goshdammit.
This REALLY is saddening.
Ask me about how i would feel after confirmation a few months earlier and i'd answer ' OMGOSH, FINALLY, NO MORE CAT CLASS< AWESOME TO THE MAXXX MAXXX MAXXX'
but now?!
HAH, total OPPOSITE MANZXZXZXZXZX.
Confirmation is suppose to be an happy occasion.
AND IT ALL ENDED SO FAST.
*pulls hair out*
written
9:49 PM
Wednesday, December 9, 2009
Yesterdays guitar/carolling session was really enjoyable(:
REALLY, it was:D
so, practiced with the other 3 guitarist all the songs from 4pm till about 7 before the choir came in to practice singing. so yeah, played again from 7-10pm. :/
now my finger tips are aching like heck!
They're sore, it hurts when i press simple chords like Em or Am on the guitar!.
*screams in pain*
hahah, anyway, probably off to jacq's later :D
written
10:28 AM
Monday, December 7, 2009
How i dread home.
I thought things could be better.
But i guess i was holding my expectations too high.
Confirmation camp, encouragement letter session and writing back was suppose to help !.
but i guess, it turned out the other way.
Im back to my own life huh?
Where everybody just did what they wanted to do.
Where im just THAT girl sitting at a table using the compter.
NO?! really, i would think so.
I thought, well, I trusted the fact that the writing bck would help.
The tears i shed. for what?!
IT DIDNT HELP.
all i got was
'this is how important you think the holiday is'
WHAT DID I DO NOW?
All i need in my life is just to make one small tiny miserable mistake and BOOM, everythig falls back to where it started.
Square 1.
forget it.
I dont care anymore.
I dont want to care anymore.
I guess i shouldnt have bothered writing back.
written
7:39 PM
Im gonna take back whatever i said about con camp man~
it was freaking awesomeeeeeeee!!!!:D:D:D:D
4 days is TOO short. really.
I didnt want to go home today. i didnt want to:(
Celine,
Selina,
Sarah,
Kelly,
Theo,
Jacq,
Terence,
Erica,
Caius,
you all made this camp a joyful one:D SERIOUSLY!!!!!!
Wo AI NI MEN WORHZXZ!
Alex,
Mackie,
Alexine,
Deborah,
Pamela,
Thanks for making the nights oh-so-enjoyable:D
i really loved it.
Now, im back home, knowing that tonights not gonna be spent with you people,
oh man! i feel so......... *pulls hair out*
geesh.
i.love.god.
written
6:15 PM
Thursday, December 3, 2009
My blogs sucha good companion after a long tiring day with never ending contraction pains.
and yes, you did read that right.
Indirectly, its a good way to forget about my cramps (:
Went out, hammy DOES look like a rat but i shall be nice.
Walked around novena with belle.
Met up with mathea.
Went for free starbucks.
Learnt how to bra shop.
Im sorry how im so open on my blog.
but im sure no one cares about what i did today la.
so, theres con camp tml.
my mood?! kay, its:
:D + :( + >:( + X( + :S = MAJOR MOODSWINGS.
of all bloody days.
ive got to get my period NOW. when theres a suppose-to-be-fun-yet-cmi camp tml.
Im gonna be damn cranky la.
my mood swings WILDY from North to south east to west.
just a precaution;D
People out there, you're always invited to irritate me anytime.
TRY ME.
OH man. why cant confirmation just happen without camp.
I used to be a camp lover.
Until i realise that ppl tried too hard to bond us.
really, literally TRY TOO HARD.
once again, my attempt to control my mood when having my period fails.
sorry ppl, i'll really try. :/
right now, ive got a whole list of items and an empty bag.
i keep telling myself 'its not going to pack itself, just start packing for goodness sake'
this is when i wish for a wand and a book of handy spells:D
boy, how nice it would be if magic existed and there were really witches and wizards living among us.
Cool? i would think so!
written
8:35 PM
Wednesday, December 2, 2009
Alots been happening lately.
Trying my best to handle my emotions.
yeah, tiring to do so. but what the heck, its for the better(:
FINALLY GOT MY SOFT LENS CONTACTS.
awesome much.
So, anyway, was just thinking about stuff thats happened.
Issit worth dwelling over it?
Wont it turn out better if i just try to love my enemy?!
It would no doubt be 100% difficult to.
but at least i do something about it to resolve the situation rather then to whine about it and hope someone out there would ease the situation for me.
Nope, not gonna happen.
Ive learnt ALOT these days.
Values from different people.
I read on someones blog somewhere(seriously forgot whose blog)
Something about how a wise person learns from other peoples mistakes and a fool its own.
Or somewhere along that line.
I think i got it wrong though.. sounds weird.
HAH! forget about that.
But i just thought it was something meaningful to share.
FAIL (:
oh well, gonna meet hammy at belles place tml.
written
10:20 PM
Monday, November 30, 2009
WEll, theres such thing as someone SLEEPING.
no?
btw, dictionarys still waiting!:D
ask and you shall receive. REALLY.
written
11:18 AM
Sunday, November 29, 2009
Somehow i know, from whatever im doing now, ive gotta pay with whats worth.
Ive gotta face the consequences.
Schools taught me
' with choices, comes consequences'
yeah, a lesson i dont think i'd forget. EVER.
I'm sorry if you're gonna stand up for the one you love.
Im not fighting to have a space in your life. cos i guess, one person is enough to really test your patience.
I cant stand the thoughts im having now.
but im sure in time to come, soooner or later,
we're just gonna be two people living separate lives.
i dont want that to happen.
but i dont know how to face you.
Not like that i feel.
written
11:51 PM
Can you imagine how it feels, listening to you complain/whine about everything anyone or anything has ever done to you/made you feel?
Maybe i guess, i WAS able to just listen to you and kept my opinions to myself. Kept what i really thought of the situation to myself.
but then, now, you're making it HELL alot more difficult.
THE WORD SABOTAGE IS DANGEROUS.
let alone the action.
I am VERY VERY VERY EXTREMELY tempted to do so. but i know i wouldnt.
I do know that by doing it, you'd feel happier. TRUST ME.
but then again, issit just the thrill of telling your friends, ' IVE GOT A BOYFRIEND.HE'S SO SWEET AND BLAH BLAH BLAH'
issit? tell me? cos love and understanding in a relationship is something you've got difficulty UNDERSTANDING.
Wanna check the dictionary?(: let me know, you could always ask and borrow it.
I USED to be able t stand you. To stand all your childish behaviour. To never fail to listen to your problems.
BUT THERES NEVER AN END!
Have you ever thought that why you feel that way is the consequence of your selfish behaviour? i guess not? cos even if you DO blame yourself, you're always finding ways to tell yourself 'but it issnt my fault. If only he did that or this or this or that'
Let me tell you, whatever he does, you're not gonna be satisfied.
I used to be scared of you yknow.
cos i knew you had the power to turn someone i favor the most against me.
But now, im not so scared anymore. Why should i let you have your way?
Why should i sit around and listen to your never ending whining how you're not satisfied with what people you're doing.
TAKE THIS, YOU ARE PISSING A LOT OF PEOPLE OFF.
and yeah, people includes me. i'll be ON THE TOP OF THE LIST. tyvm:D
I dont underestimate the abilities of anybody.
Im sure people are smart enough to know what im talking about.
It wil, let me tell you, piss them off and they'd be thinking 'i never thought that amanda can be such a bitch' or maybe ' i didnt think she'd actually say stuff like that about you/me/her'.
I mean if people doesnt see eye to eye with me. what can i do right?
yet im somehow confident that when you read this, you're gonna complain/whine to people. WHATS NEW?!
BE SATISFIED. YOU'RE A LUCKY GIRL. that i can admit. BUT YOU'VE GOT A SCREWED UP ATTITUDE. which i really KNOW, is annoying the heck out of people.
oh one last thing,
EVER THOUGHT THAT EVERYBODYS PUTTING UP A FRONT AND JUST GIVING YOU FACE? well, please do think about that.
cos everyones getting tired. i know i am.
written
8:15 PM
Saturday, November 28, 2009
Hate the way im suddenly non-existent.
Hate the way ive always gotta pretend.
Hate the way ive always gotta let it be.
Hate the way its making my blood boil.
Hate the sound of that annoying sound thats so irritating to my ears.
Hate the over-sensitiveness of the topic.
Hate the irritating pretense thats put up everytime.
Hate the way ive gotta fight to have the chance to speak.
Hate the way unfamiliar people totally tilt my mood upside down.
Hate the way, ive gotta bear it.
Lastly, i hate the way ive got to sit around and watch it.
It makes me sick.
Not that im against it or anything.
But what the heck.
Who cares what the non-existence person has to say huh?!
written
6:39 PM
Tuesday, November 24, 2009
Concert is over:(
I wanted to be over and done with it but after the concert yesterday, i felt like crying!
everyone went 'see you next year'
and im like 'damn it, im only gonna be seeing them for another 3 months next year before im off to study for the most dreaded natonal exams ever.'
oh man!
Im gonna miss everybodyyyy!!!
So concert was overall, okayy.
abit of screw ups here and there.
but what the heck!
i managed to overcome my stage fright and sang my solo lines
thats something, well, i never thought i would be able to do.
REALLY.
written
3:09 PM
Thursday, November 19, 2009
I cant wait till this concert is OVERRRR!
omgosh.
Choir camps tml till saturday.
Not that im dreading it or anything :D
anw, i JUST remembered something.
and i shudder at the thought of actually going to my mother and opening my mouth.
She's sick today yknow.
Shes going to be SO MAD, SO ANGRY with me :(
plus, shes SICK! did i mention that already?
I want her to get well but its something, SHE REALLY NEEDS TO KNOW (!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)
*screams*
If i dont tell her, im going to be in trouble.
If i tell her, im going to be in trouble too!
so why not just tell her RIGHT?
okay, i will.
So, if i tell her, and i get into trouble, i'd get into trouble with another person and from that, it'll bring on to ANOTHER PERSON. THE PERSON WHICH I DONT WANT TO ANGER, NOT IN THIS POINT OF TIME ALSO!
goshdammit.
stupid chain.
yet, HOW IN THE WORLD DID I FORGET ABOUT ITTTTT!
stooooooooppppppppidddddddd to the maaaaaaaaaaaaaxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
written
10:51 AM
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
I LOVE MY DADDY x1000000.000000:D
written
9:27 AM
Tuesday, November 17, 2009
I cant help but smile
Although im super tired
im never tired of looking at you
For some weird reason,
Im experiencing something ive never felt before
and OMGOSH
you're beautiful is such an awesome showwww
EXTREMELY EXTREMELY ADDICTIVE!
my heart pumps so hard!!!!!!!
Plus, i it gives me natural blusher:D
written
9:53 PM
Monday, November 16, 2009
Somethings bugging me, I just dont know what it is yet
But one things for sure,
im exhausted
I think i might just have tired myself out
Ive gone beyond the line of what my body can take
I can get a big headache just by looking at my schedule
its like, theres ALWAYS something to do everyday and after a while, i yearn for a day, i can just spend at home, with no school, no nothing
i MISS the feeling of boredom, i really do
Im mentally tired and physically tired, my eyes can close any minute :(
School in the morning, had physics!
Could barely stay awake
Choir meeting at KFC after
sectionals at 2
choir prac from 3-6 and exco meeting after
My days are getting more and more activity packed :/
I thought i would be able to juggle both choir, school and other activities
but its something ive yet to master
TRUTH IS, im already telling myself,
AMANDA, THERES ONLY THIS MUCH YOU CAN TAKE
written
8:54 PM
Thursday, November 12, 2009
I switch on the laptop only to realise 'hey, there really issnt anything to do anymore'
so, just caught 2012 with eunice and felicia today (:
and maths was ANNOYING
late for 5 minutes and ms ong made us stand outside class for an hour or so
whattheheck/
OH coming back to the pointl
2012! sad show:(
but it was 2 hou.rs. 45 minutes! HA.HA
it didnt feel THAT long in the cinema
or did it?
written
7:01 PM
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
IM GETTING A JOB!(:
if i told ms ong that, she'd kill me
'why you so young wanna do this kind of things? next time when you grow older, you got all the time in the world to work! Now, its your job to study!!!'
haha, miss ong's damn cute:D
SHES THE REASON WHY MY MATHS WENT UP!
and of course, MATHEA AND AMANDA TOO(:
they helped me through the holidays and all
OMGosh, boy am i greatful!
This might seem random and sudden to thank them like that
HAHA
Was doing maths just now and i thought about it
'if it werent for the people who helped me pull my maths grade up, i wouldnt like maths and that would mean i wouldnt be bothered to do well for it like all the other people in class who hates maths' gettit?
IM HOME TODAY!
Its sunny, great day for cycling yes?
Geesh
stoopid ezlnk card
written
1:19 PM
IM NEVER GOING TIRED OF EIGHT BELOW MAN(:
huskies are so bloody adorableeee!
im so gonna keep one when im older
so anyway, a week of school holidays gone already!!!
ZOMGGG
had choir basically monday,friday and sat last week
upcoming concert at esplanade!!!
DO BUY TICKETS PPL:D
Choir seems SO MUCH MORE FUN NOWWWW!
haha, i really enjoy it(:
Headed over to jacqs place after choir ytd
rented WHERE GOT GHOST
HAHAHA
it wasnt that funny anymore though! ut still, ITS WORTH WATCHING
Ended up jamming and singing in the room
AND IM IN LOVE WITH CHERYL HOUNG'S ACOUSTIC GUITARRR! its so natural and the strings are like well, PINK! :D
Had alot of plans which clashed today!
suppose to have an outing with cheryl lim and anisia
and cycling! YET, had to cancel both cos errrrr should i really say it here?
MOVING ON,
tml's going to be a swim with eunice,amanda and felicia(:
its been long people!
im a busy bee this holidaysss!
time t get started on WORK!
written
8:25 AM
Sunday, November 8, 2009
Ive had many opportunities to screw my life upside down and sadly, ive gotta admit, ive taken all opportunities to do that.
Now, im gonna grab any opportunity to make things right again.
yet, something that feels so right can end up backfiring.
WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO TELL ME?
i should learn to stop thinking so muchh.
I should just leave it as it is.
NO means NO,
YES means YES!
I hate the position im in now:(
Why is the world so sensitive?!
Why am i so sensitive?!
BOO-HOO
written
12:48 PM
Saturday, November 7, 2009
OMG, THANKS TO JUSTIN TAN SWEE YANG FOR RESTRINGING THE ACOUSTIC GUITAR:D
no more rusty strings!
no more weird dull sound!
and HELLO NEW AWESOME STRINGS:D
i miss acoustic man
classical guitar sounds so dot dot dot
Not saying its bad la, but i just prefer acoustic
not as if anybody out there cares right?!:D
written
4:47 PM
Friday, November 6, 2009
Its random times like this when i suddenly think about my grandfather
Whenever i listen to a song with meaningful words, it brings me back to when i was six
The times i felt the most happy, the times i felt as though nothing in this world would make me feel sad, esp with him around
Then again, it DID happen 7 years ago
why rank it up now?
probably cos i feel he's the only person who actually saw me as me and the only person who didnt expect me to be their ideal image of 'amanda tan swee ling'?
yet, ive got to consider the fact that i was only five-seven years old,
i could have been naive then
oh well
i miss you, i miss your smile and i still shed a tear every once in a while, and even though its different now, you're still here somehow(:
MILEY CYRUS SONGS ARE REALLY MEANINGFUL, well, some of it
written
8:47 PM
Monday, November 2, 2009
So, been addicted to quite a number of songs!
footprints in the sand by leona lewis and
well, homeless heart by amanda stott
The best lyrics ever written! Thought i related to both of them(:
so, here are the lyrics for homeless heart
enjoy!
Lonesome stranger
With a crowd around you
I see who you are
You joke, they laugh
Til the show is over
Then you fall so hard
If youre needing
A soul-to-soul connection
Ill run to your side
When youre lost in the dark
When youre out in the cold
When youre looking for something that resembles your soul
When the wind blows your house of cards
Ill be a home to your homeless heart
Open close me
Leave your secrets with me
I can ease your pain
And my arms will be
Just like walls around you
Come in from the rain
If youre running
In the wrong direction
I will lead you back
When youre lost in the dark
When youre out in the cold
When youre looking for something that resembles your soul
When the wind blows your house of cards
Ill be a home to your homeless heart
Broken
Shattered like a mirror
In a million pieces
Sooner or later
Youve got to find
Something someone
To find you and save you
When youre lost in the dark
When youre out in the cold
When youre looking for something that resembles your soul
When the wind blows your house of cards
Ill be a home to your homeless heart
When youre looking for something that resembles your soul
When the wind blows your house of cards
Ill be a home to your homeless heart
Ill be a home to your homeless heart
written
10:29 PM
Sunday, November 1, 2009
I feel lower than dirt
yes, i really do
the site im most in loved with, as been taken away from me!
plus, im still signed in, imagine, i didnt even get to log out properly, to give it a proper farewell, to say bye to my pet one last time,.
no, i wasnt given that privilege
I dont get it,
What am i doing wrong?
its sickening how im trying to make things right when instead, im making it worst!
WHY WHY WHY?!
WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY?!
its shit stuff like this that happens often that makes me think too much
sometimes i feel, you're never there for me, not anymore that is
written
10:23 PM
Saturday, October 31, 2009
Well, just showed my mother my report book and as usual,
she didnt make me feel any better but more of just pushed me down more than what i was already feeling
but she did make sense la, whatever she said
That whatever grades im getting down, to estimate what im getting for O levels, i gotta push down one grade,
how demoralising is that
'at the rate you're going, next year your O levels, honestly speaking, cannot make it'
well, you're not the first to say that mother
'you must see the light'
WHAT FREAKING LIGHT?the only light i know about is i.n ghost whisperer,
yknow the light the ghost see after forgiving a person or after they do what they wanna do
anw, This comes to the point of why i feel like i wanna appeal to exchange my spot in express for one of the ppl retaining this year,
i kinda feel that i'd s.eriously do better if i retained,really i do
My mother indirectly said so herself anyway 'your O levels next year, cannot make it'
yes, that kinda confirmed my feelings about downgrading myself to retain
Man, it sucks to feel this way :(
Im really prepared to work hard for next year
I wanna scream out so loud that ive gotta hold it in
I hate myself for dropping into this dunghole
I hate myself for feeling so demoralised over studies, FOR WHAT?
hasnt NC WAY, the WAY my parents put me in SINCE I WAS A BABY taught me that god should always be put first in life?
why is everybody making it look as though studies the first thing in life?
why does everybody make such a big fuss about how well you do,how well you score for your exams? Why does parents care so much for O levels? why do students care so much about their future?
well, the answers really simple
Its because no one really actually believes in miracles anymore
they believe in their own hardcore work and they rely on how well prepared they are for their exams,so doesnt this alr contradict church itself? yes no?
besides, no education=no future
no future=well,nothing
You're gonna be worthless then
TRUE? yes, in this world, it is true
written
11:20 AM
Thursday, October 29, 2009
School was the usual
ive been offered CLB!
should i? should i not?
when i saw the paper, i went OMG YES, FINALLY! THE FORM IVE BEEN WAITING FOR SINCE SEC 1,.
and .after a while, i went 'do i really want this?'
so on a totally unrelated topic,
I sometimes wonder why people complain about .how someone blogs and all
Is it really any of your concern?let me answer that for you, NO
I mean, okay, if you wanna read, go ahead and read la!
But reading then after that judging the way that person blogs and all, it makes no sense, so why dont you just get a life?
Just get lost and nvr return to the page if you're so particular about how someone should blog!?
Omgawd, i dont get you and i dont think i ever will
yes, we were close and whatever but i guess, i never did exactly know what you're all about
not as if i care anymore bcos you obviously dont
written
5:41 PM
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
I just finished composing a song
But i guess its really dedicated to someone
cos, that person is the inspiration of the song
I may sound lovesick,but seriously, i aint man!:D
then again, i cant be too sure
so anyway, its titled CIRCUMSTANCES
inspired by a real life experience
or rather what im feeling right now
How i know how wrong it is yet how right it feels
how because of circumstances, i cant confess what i really feel about things
How confused i am and how much im annoyed with the fact that its distracting me from everything thats happening in my life
Its nothing bad, just something contradictory
On my part that is
yet, to sum the song up,
its really about how much i really do care yet under some circumstances, i gotta hold back
I had a hard time penning down my thoughts for this song
It took me a good 2 whole weeks and 14 full days to really sit down and reflect about my feelings about you
DAMN IT! why do i miss you so much?
& yes, another failed attempt to not sound lovesick huh?
written
10:14 PM
Monday, October 26, 2009
So, ive started on neopets, thanks to cheryl!
i was like 'omg,so boring'
NEOPETTTTTTS!
so anyway, on another note,
i was on the phone with jacq today and i was talking to her about the usual?
being retarded and all,
and she asked ' whats your elder sisters name?'
'elizabeth..?'
'then why dont you say much about her?'
now, that was what strucked me.
i never really realised that i dont talk about my elder sister much.
Not like shes bad or anything, but i just dont talk about her?
no reason really.
I THINK
written
8:23 PM
IM HAVING A SPLITTING HEADACHE!
god bless me for tml
its going to be another day of rotting mannn
wtheck
I dont wanna go to school, pls mummy pls!
written
6:11 PM
Sunday, October 25, 2009
CAT CLASS IN THE MORNINGGG(:
I suddenly dont feel like getting confirmed
a part of me would miss cat class:(
yet on a totally unrelated topic,
JACQUELINE'S AND CHERYL'S HOUSES ROCKS TO THE CORE OF AN APPLE!
im serious mann!
I WANNA STAY OVER AND SLEEP ON THEIR BED FOREVER AND EVER!
haha, but obviously, its not possible
Stayed over with alvina and desiree btw, FTWW~
(((((((((((((((((:
omgosh, love them larhhzxzzxz
HAHA, so darn fun
do it again some time??
I WANNA PLAY CHARADES AGAIN! HAHA,and pictionary too!
written
3:38 PM
Saturday, October 24, 2009
I dont get why people just dont get the hint at times
i mean, no matter how obvious clues been announced, potrayed in any way.
THEY"RE STILL OBLIVIOUS!
curses....
yet again,
they probably DO get the hint but just pretend that they dont.
now, i call that smart. YET with a pinch of annoyingness.
oh well.
written
4:01 PM
Life is always changing.
The way you see it, the way you look at it and definitely the way you live it.
Being overly happy, i guess,deep inside of you theres sure bound to be some unhappiness no matter what.
No matter what, theres imperfection.
So why cant people just live with themselves?
Yet again, after much thinking and reflecting, its not as simple as it may seem.
Being imperfect, I guess contributes to the whole idea of being a perfectionist.
The more imperfections you have, the more excuse you really have to be a perfectionist.
and being a perfectionist issnt good.
Not saying that wanting to be perfect issnt good, but you people should get my drift la.
so, on a much heavier note,
i dont get the ways people think about things.
The saying goes 'different people have different perspectives'
but i guess,its really just me who believes in that.
Issit just me or do people dont see things the way the minority do?
I guess its just me issnt it?
'your concepts all wrong' goes some people. but seriously,
Which concept in the worlds right anyway.
issit wrong to be different?
so now, i was thinkin...........................
GREAT, i lost my train of thoughts....
oh well, i;ll just get another ticket and board the next one.
Till next time!!!:D
BTW, IM AT JACQUELINES HOUSE NOW:D FTW!
written
12:27 AM
Thursday, October 22, 2009
thanks to elizabeth,
i cant charge my phone
THANK YOU, seriously
written
9:58 PM
So, apart from that,
MY BROTHERS COMING BACK TOMMORROWWWWWWWW!
OHMYGOSH! I CANT WAITTT!
i miss him like shitzxzxx!
written
5:35 PM
You're damn retarded man
so childish
omg, i cant be bothered already larhhhh
i dont wanna spend the rest of the year trying to put out fire,
this time, you're gonna be the fireman!
STUPID FOOL
always the one finding fault in everything
and i end up the one being burnt down along with the rest of the other stuff
its annoying yknow, how you like to lock me into some dark room with NO KNOWLEDGE ON WHY YOU'RE DOING WHATEVER YOU'RE DOING
and then, BOOM! you set fire to that particular room
WHERE DID I GO WRONG AGAIN!?
but then again, i really cant be bothered
not with you that is
written
5:30 PM
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
MY MARKS STILL SUCK!
but, imnot complaining:D
CHOIR WAS AWESOME MAN!
i miss the choir peeps! hahahahaha
goodness gracious,
i just saw them like yesterday and the day before but today, they made it the best of the best la
chor was productive
i love the songs we;re learning now:D
AWESOME JUST HOW ONE JAPAN TRIP CAN BOND EVERYONE
WOOTTTTT!
ARIGATO GOZAIMAS! *bows*
written
9:35 PM
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
I WANT JAPAN!
my SA2 marks suck shit!
SINGAPORES SO HOT!
amanda, stop complaining.
so.....
today started off with an irritating morning,
so bloody tired but i made my way to school anyway.
was in the gym the whole day through today
checking papers. got back my mt,eng,combine humans and maths.
I MISS KAGOSHIMA!
seriously man
i miss the politeness, i miss the people, and i miss the times where choir people just sat around laughing at the stupidest things possible.
now, its back to the cliques. its back to the gang, its back to normal.
oh well,
i cant do much about it anyway.
so, i was so tired. and i slept through most of the day.
Alexine slapped me(!!!!!!!!!)
AND WHATEVER ALEXINE HANDLES, IT NEVER FAILS TO LAND ON THE FLOOR.
i infered that through the period when i baked with her after school.
hougang mall for ingredients then it was to her house for the baking.
ITS FOR TIM ENGGGGGG!
Birthdays tml..
its 11.13pm anyway, so im going to wish him. about 47minutes early. HAhA!,oh well:D
so at around 8.50, met him at kovan and handled him the cake.
OH AND ALEXINE KEEPS SCOLDING mE FOR BOWING!
annoying much.,
i cant blame myself for getting used to all the bowing and all.
ohmygawd
i seriously do miss kagoshimaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!
written
11:09 PM
Monday, October 19, 2009
TOUCHDOWN!
IM BACK PEOPLE
woot, awesome, hula, duma, pula, dammmma
I MISS JAPAN x1000000000000000
'HOT' didnt exist it was s nice and cold
singapores soooo, HOTTT!
but i realy missed the people here la:D
although my hongkong michael jackson went off early,
the rest of the people were AWESOME
and japan peoples so polite:D
the bow to show respect
im used to the bowing now
GEESSSHHHH!
im getting laughed at
anyway, long flight,tiring
written
10:52 PM
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
JAPAN OH JAPAN:D
HERE I COME
I FEEL SUPER TIRED
BUT,
whats your frame of mind?
is it strong? is it weak?
im just thinking of food now
AND IVE BEEN DOWN ON MY LUCK SINCE YESTERDAY!!!!
:(
OH well,
I WILL SEE YOU PEOPLE NEXT MONDAY!!!!
written
6:36 PM
Its 435am
i wanted to blog earlier but well, i didnt feel too well
its funny how in the morning when you're awake, having difficulty getting to sleep,
you have this WEIRD feeling in your stomach
idk man, i have this really weird feeling in my stomach
as thought theres too much air
as though my bodys screaming to me IM TIRED!!!
IM TIRED TOO!
but theres just so many things to do!
so much, ive got o stay through the night
WHY?!
idiotic, i'd just pray to god for help
i havent been putting my trust in him for the past week or so bcos well, its the exams and i srsly felt that god wouldnt help because well, IM THE ONE SITTING FOR THE EXAM not him
so, i spent nights up making sure i perfect everything for head to toe(:
but now, i guess, i should start to place my trust in him!:D
dear god,
i thank you for giving me this opportunity to go japan, i also thank you for the support my friends have all given me through this time and
i ask you to help me with my life,
Help me to spend my time wisely, especially the holidays coming soon!
i ask you to help my brother in NS, He's coming back this friday!
Allow him to book out more aften instead of only fridays/
and lastly, help everyone who's going through a phase in life, mid-life crisis or whatever thats making them unhappy
help us SAY NO TO THE ONE WITH supposedly has RED HORNS AND A FORK!
Amen:D
God is Good!
written
4:35 AM
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
ive never in my life felt this exhausted
not even when i went for a 30km cycle which i thought was the mot tiring trip ever
but, today, i feel likee dying!
Thank god im done with my art
Japans tml,
and im so exhausted
Seriously, i am
I think all the nights i stayed up are getting back at me
my body needs its rest but ive got no time to let it
I thought after exams would be awesome, you know?, to catch up on my sleep
Gosh, little did i know
but anyway, today was a fun day:D
WITH ALEX AND MACKIE
btu it was tiring t the MAXXXXX!
i wanna sleep tonight but i cant, duee to some reasons
Ive finally bought the earpiece ive been wanting to buy at kovan
Now, i can listen to music through bus rides and all at japan
IM SO IRRITATINGLY TIRED
i dont think im going for art tml
my heads throbbing t the maximum
lack of sleep
oh wtvr
written
7:05 PM
Exams ended (:
not entirely though but arts not counted!
woot! no more staying up and feeling zombie-like in school and all
AWESOME!
Im heading for the ariport tml at 8pm :(
i feel sad to leave singapore,
im going to miss all the after-exams-fun-stuff activities!
EH JASMINE, HAFFIDAH, RACHEL, ELINA,TESSA, MARTINA, dont go night safari without meeee!!!!! :'(
Yes, i'd be going japan and coming back on the 20th:D
should i be excited?
im feeling all, oh-going-japan?-okay-go-japan-lor kinda feeling
theres not -oh-my-gosh-im-going-japan! kinda feeling
but on the bright side,
i get to sit on cool toilet bowls which squirts out water ! HAHAH!
cool much (:
&& definitely the part of the japan youth festival thing AND AND the LIFE VOLCANO which im able to see from the hotel we're staying at
awesome stuff
BUT, im going to miss my brothers first book out!
you see,
im going on the 14-20
he's coming out 16-19
He's going to be home for 3 WHOLE DAYS AND IM GOING TO BE IN JAPAN!!!!
*wails*
oh well, there would be other ways i'd get t see him i guess
OTHER WAYS~~~~
so///////////////////////////
ALEX AND MACKIE LATERRRRR!
My life is so dramatic
too much drama, i dont like!
written
9:01 AM
Thursday, October 8, 2009
CHEMISTRY TEST TML(:
going to stay up, although my stay up companions in NS!
geesh, when he books out, i'll be in japan,
and when he goes in, i'd be FLYING BACK!
what the shit!
im going to miss his FIRST visit home
DAMN IT
oh well
written
4:56 PM
Wednesday, October 7, 2009
What is this man
it means nothing if guitar-playing, drums, electric guitar,violin or an amazing voice is involved,
IT ALSO MEANS NOTHING IF SWEETNESS AND CUTENESS IS INVOLVED TOO!
NO! say NO to this
NO! NO! NO!
say no to study distractors! WOOT
FORGET IT AMANDA,
JUST FORGET
you'd cope better
let your wish be heard
written
5:55 PM
I WANT T SING LIKE DEMI LEVATO (!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)
well, not the way she sang in camp rock
BUT in her song here we go again
ADDICTIVE, AWESOME,
damit, im jealous!
haha, oh well :D
SHES REALLY GOOD
OHOH and and syesha mercado, when she sings I BELIEVE or I WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU or LISTEN
yet, another awesome singer
AW MANNNNNNN
written
3:57 PM
Tuesday, October 6, 2009
i miss my brother (!!!!!!!!!!!)
i want him back home NOW
home feels empty without him lazing around or strumming guitars
OH COME BACK COME BACK!
DONT GO :(
written
2:12 PM
JUSTIN TAN SWEE YANG!hopefully you realise your laptops on.
This post is ESPECIALLY for you,
WHEN YOU'RE GONE,
THERES NO ONE I CAN MAKE RETARDED FACES TO ANYMORE!
*wails*
WHEN YOU'RE GONE,
THERES NO ONE TO HELP ME WHEN IM IN NEED OF ADVICE,(benjamin might just start yelling at me and tims not of much help either)
*starts to cry*
2 weeks seems long!
YOU'RE SLEEPING AND I ALREADY FEEL SAD THAT YOU'RE GOING!
but hey, on the bright side, you;re gonna be botak and it'll be fun to see you that way when you're back.
2weeks a really long time.....
HAVE FUN!!! *wails more*
when justins gone, amanda cant make a retarded face to someone who appreciates retarded faces:( *CRYS EVEN HARDER*
oh well,
HOPEFULLY YOU READ THIS LA:D
written
6:08 AM
Its 2.20am now.
Im brushing up on my maths and SS.
i really REALLY really REALLY really REALLY wanna do well dammit!
ps, my studying wasnt last minute, i started studying since like a few weeks back.
the reason why im up is bcos i wanna perfect the whole thing.
NO MIND BLOCKS LAtER WHEN I SIT FOR THE EXAM.
NONONO!
SAY NO TO MINDBLOCKS!:D
maths first and im having troubles with sketching of graphs.
its never been a problem for me (!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)
so now, im still awake trying to perfect my maths too.
have i emphasized to you people how much i wanna do well?(:
and tml's geog paper, so it means im gonna live through the night again.
AND COFFEE REALLY HELPS!:D
REALLY!
its kinda cool! and awesome at the same time!
haha, its so fun and so much more productive to study at night,
of course minus my brother who's still up using the computer(:
anw, i dont feel like sitting for the art paper.
WASTE OF TIME!
written
2:18 AM
Sunday, October 4, 2009
Its not just me!
EVERYBODYS FEELING THE SAME WAY
i swear, when things change,
no one will give you face anymore
my blood boils at the sight of you,SERIOUSLY
perhaps its just because im having my period
Perhaps perhaps perhaps *sings*
I cant help but feel annoyed
these are the moments that i wish what my mother said was true
HOW I WISH
i DREAM about it to happen
well, maybe because A DREAM IS A WISH YOUR HEART MAKES
and that DOES happen,
i can promise you that i'd change my handphone number and not tell you so
Feel angry,
Feel over-sensitive
Feel annoyed,
Feel troubled,
Feel upset about this post
I DONT CARE!
geesh, my blood boils even talk about you
written
2:59 PM
Thursday, October 1, 2009
Well,
everybodys planning what to do after exams and boy, are they going to have so much fun
not saying i wouldnt have fun in japan but well, i dont know what to feel la
hopefully, they'll leave some fun for me when i come back
I know the thought of after exams should make me feel happy, relieved and everything good
but the thought of it, it gives me that unhappy feeling,
My mentality should be strong
but its failing me
i managed to talk to my mother about, well, my problems,
and she went 'self-pity issnt going to bring you anywhere'
It wasnt that sentence that made me think
but the fact that she summarised all my problems with one word 'self-pity'
japans coming, Im suppose to be mentally strong and everything
but damn it, im going to break any time now
not because im too darn stress over exams,
but because im having troubles in coping with whatever im feeling
How to enjoy if i dont feel happy with myself?
if i dont feel happy with the choices ive made in life,
how i wish,
if i had the chance to,
i WOULD ________
But its not going t happen
Its not as easy as it may seem
i'd disappoint everybody
seriously, i would
but i guess, t keep everybody happy, theres some sacrifices ive got to make
whether i regret or whether im excited, it doesnt matter
cos what matters is that ive got to pull through, put on an act,
its the best solution rather than stir things up and screw my life upside down
how t go japan if my mentality issnt up to par with what mr liew expects it to be?
i think im just ging to get screamed at or threatened to be left behind in s'pore or maybe he'd even LEAVE me in s'pore
now, if that happens, im not going to cry, cos well, its true, ones attitude affects all,
and if i dont get my spirit and act right by the time we set foot in the airport,
what gives me the right to show myself?
im just going t pull everybody down with me
yet gain,
'self-pity issnt going to bring you anywhere'
how i wish someone would scream at me
i think i'd feel better
written
6:29 PM
Sunday, September 27, 2009
So, its sunday morning (:
Cat class later.
and had a great talk with my brother last night about how my life stops at sec 3 if i screw my EOYs.
and his ADVICE which im gonna heed was,
'you must learn how to sit in front of a textbook with your handphone placed away and a can of coffee in front of you. and i mean STuDy leh, NOT FlIPPING THROUGH OR GLANCiNG THROUGH. Really study!'
but i guess that coffee parts only when you burn midnight oil i guess.
sCaRYyy sTUff
ANYWAY,
talking about coffee,
belinda tan told choir girls that we shouldnt drink coffee cos caffine stays in our bloodstreeam for minimum 12 days.
and it issnt good.
so, why NOT I replaCE IT wiTH redbull?:D
written
8:40 AM
Thursday, September 24, 2009
WHY DO I ALWAYS FALL SICK WHEN ITS NEAR THE EXAMS?!
irritating shit ):
its like im fine for all the preparation of the exams
and when its the ACTUAL day, i fall sick!
OMG, IRRITATING LIKE HELL
written
6:27 PM
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
I WANNA CUT MY HAIR
take a risk
have a change
live with it (:
written
10:24 PM
MR CHOO IS SO CUTEEEE!
and no, im not fantasizing over him like how tessa does over peony koh(:
*beams*
End of year studies are killing me :(
IM SCARED I RETAIN,IM SCARED I'D DROP/
i dont know im doing ENOUGH to get into the safe zone,
but seriously, WHATS ENOUGH?
written
5:47 PM
Sunday, September 20, 2009
geesh, all i want now is for my parents to get better
really :(
oh well,
Im fighting off so many emotions now,
so much, i cant concentrate,
I know better than to drown myself in music such as guitar and all,
but its not like i mean to,
i just dont have a choice,
i cant do anything about it,
im helpless,
talking to people about it wouldnt do me any good either,
it just kinda pulls me down even more,
people say ; im always here for you,amanda
i knwo you all are, behind me, giving me the support i need,
but i cant bring myself to open up any further cos i think ive opened up too much already,
theres only like 5% of my life i want people to know about me,
another 15% for people who i talk to when im down, cos thats when i totally open up and share my problems, to well, know about me,
and the rest of the percentage of my life, i wanna keep it locked up forever and ever,
No matter how much i break,
that door to that 80% of my life, will never be opened,
not because i lost the key,
but because i hid it well/
of all people, why me?
written
7:44 PM
Thursday, September 17, 2009
I cant believe you only told me now.
If only you had told me earlier...
I wouldnt be thinking i was alone.
I wouldnt have said all those nasty stuff about you.
I WOULD have understood.
I know im only 15.
but, you of all people should know i would be able to understand.
so why didnt you tell me?
You chose NOW.
OF ALL TIMES BEFORE to tell me.
You made me think the worst out of you.
You planted thoughts in my head.
Thoughts which made me think lowly .o.f. m.ysel.f.
but now i know why.
i FINALLY KNOW WHY
after all this time...
i feel so annoyed with myself.
i should've known better....
i blame me
written
8:21 PM
Wednesday, September 16, 2009
My hands covered with glitter. I dont know why.
no, seriously. I dont.
I paid attention in chinese class today.
i even spoke chinese which i think MADE SENSE.
everyone, go buy toto NOWWWW.
'1609' (just in case you really wanna buy)
Alexines so noob.
HAHA.
She finally broke SOME rules.
and she'd kill me if she knew i BLOGGED IT.
cos well, TEACHERS READ OUR BLOGS.
coolstuff.
OHOH! going back to the topic of chinese. I LEARNT A VALUABLE LESSON:D
'you dont need a reason to help somebody'
how awesome is that?((((:
plus to make it MORE awesome, the lesson was in CHINESE and i UNDERSTOOD.
come on ppl, dont miss this chance to win 4D. SERIOUS!
My hands still covered with glitter.
WHY?WHY?WHY?
I.WANT.TO.MASTER.MAN.IN.THE.MIRROR.ON.GUITAR.
so anw, choir today was fun (:
SICK JOKES DURING BREAK.
nvr been better.
if you've noticed,
this post is totally disorganised.
bcos im just blogging whatever comes to my mind.
and if i actually did it THIS WAY for english OR chinese oral,
hah! god bless my soul man.
i'd really need his blessings.
OKAY, STUDY AMANDA!
written
10:35 PM
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
Oh freak.
im going nuts!
i actually find andrew handsome now.
HAHAHAHA!
MY GOOD TASTE.(AHHH) where have you gone?! :(
all randall's fault... geesh.
made me go playfully 'crazy' over him.
pls note the word PLAYFULLY.
I...I...I....I....I....I....I....
really need to go boy crazy now.
So as to secure my reputation of 'amanda has good taste!'
*wriggles eyebrows*
written
6:59 PM
Wednesday, September 9, 2009
OKAY,
alexine just made an AMAZING AND COOL AND AWESOME discovery (:
its
090909 today!
awesome much.
and yes, i really do think its awesome.
you should too! i mean its 090909!!!! 09+09+09= 090909!
(no one asked you to use your brain or a calculator with that sum)
so, calculations may vary.(:
my tongue hurts.
i dont know why i change topic so fast.
i kinda feel a little feverish.
probably cos andrews too hot to handle.
why did i suddnely think of andrew?
oh because his name pops into my head when i hear the word 'hot'.
anyway, ISSNT IT JUST COOL TODAYS 090909!
right right right?
written
4:59 PM
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
Today was a painful day.
Saturay was a painful day.
Thanks to my muscle aches.
Sunday was an even more painful day.
cos i had theo stretching his whole body when i couldnt even laugh bcos if i did, my stomach muscles would hurt.
Monday, ytd was painful too.
cos i had this lump hurting me at my rib area and i had to sing for choir.
and choir requires you to use your diaphragmn(sp?) which was around that area which caused me great pain.
Today was painful bcos of my menstral cramps and what not.
i would like to give a BIG THANKS to rachel ong(;
dont ask why.
ELINA AND JASMINE WERE GREAT COMPANY TOO:D
subwayzxzxzxz
written
1:57 PM
Friday, September 4, 2009
ALL THE 3FAITH PEOPLE WHO DIDNT TURN UP FOR THE RUN TODAY.
i mean apart from the REALLY sick people la.
anw, here this:
because of your STUPID character, people had to cover uo and run SO MUCH MORE for you.
You dont care?
suck shit please.
What kind of an attitude man.
You still can happily say 'tessa, im not going'
WHAT.THE.SHIT.
seriously.
FAKE MCs?
So rich, why not just return denise song her $1 then.
THE EIGHT OF YOU.
one dont return all dont return.
we ask why cant you just pay $1
'no money.'
'waste money'
so you think its not wasting money to buy FAKE MCs la.
omg, everything also mc mc mc.
I FEEL LIKE SMACKING ALL OF YOU UPSIDE DOWN.
written
7:46 PM
ITs close to 12.30am.
haha, and im wide awake doing geog.
later im going to start on art.
then maybe study alittle bit.
before i sleep at around 5?
alot of things to do :)
written
12:21 AM
Thursday, September 3, 2009
I need help.
Everything seems so fake.
Geog is killing my brain cells.
ive got not a clue what the heck the stupid question wants me to do.
seriously.
but oh well, gotta do it.
Ive got to get on with my art later.
And ive got to do my maths.
Im going to study my ass off.
ONE, ive got no money to go out. pathetic.
TWO, EOYs are coming. not like 80% of 3F gives a damn about it but still...i do.
THREE, ive got no money.
FOUR, i guess i just dont want to hurt myself any further.
FIVE, i dont wanna make anybody feel unhappy
SIX, i wanna stay home.
SEVEN, ive got choir alr.so the exposure to the sun should be just enough.
EIGHT,Im going to be exhausted.
NINE, I just dont feel like going out.
TEN, ive had enough,
written
9:15 PM
Nothing much today.
EXCEPT the talk i had with jasmine over prata was interesting :D
set my brain thinking.
its good to feel that we've cleared things up.
BUT JASMINE, YOU LEFT ME THINKING.
now, IF I CANT CONCENTRATE IN MY STUDIES,
i MAKE SURE COMMIT SUICIDE AND HAUNT YOU!!!!!!.
Oh and i think im weird, each time i see D________ i look at ________.
i think elina and jasmine should know la.
KINDA COOL.
i think.but it makes me weird x100000000000000000!
thats so sad.
And OF ALL PERIODS, my eyes were red during SS.
no WHY should be asked :D
THANKS MARTINA TAN MEI YUE!
love you to BITS AND PIECES!.
woots.
and i hope she replies my message.....
written
5:48 PM
Tuesday, September 1, 2009
Today,spent practically the WHOLE DAY in the band room.
had choir from 9am-12.30pm.
Went for lunch at rivervale mall.
and headed back to the band room for japanese lesson.
cos of the trip to japan so we've gotta like learn alittle bit of japanese and whatsoever.
that was from 2 .45 to about 4.00/4.30?
It was productive anyway.
ive got nth much to say.
I think im going to compose the BEST song ive ever composed in my entire life.
and im going to start now(:
GOODBYE PEOPLE.
written
7:06 PM
Monday, August 31, 2009
I.THINK.I.MADE.A.HUGE.MISTAKE.
damn it.
and im getting annoyed with the name PEONY.
seriously,
the sound and name irritates my ears like shit.
i shall refer to her as MS KOH from now onwards.
and NOT peony koh or some sort.
If you're asking WHY.
I.DONT.KNOW.
written
6:53 PM
Teachers day celebration.
Played guitar for teachers day mass and juliana's performance.
and for the mass, OMG i screwed up ALOT.
HAHAHA, couldnt stop laughing at myself.
and the stupid mic was so bloody soft.
but thank god it was anyway, or my mistakes would be WAY obvious.
Juliana's performance,
the mic was soft, apparently because my guitar was too near to the mic.
HAHA, yes, the logic, its weird.
So, I forgot the chords to her song. and i was like (???!!!!!) all the way.
Hopefully, it wasnt that obvious.
acting natural in front of people is SO NOT easy ):
and so, after the performance,
juliana INSISTED for boon ting and i to go up and bow.
I REFUSED.
but i did anyway.
geesh, STUPID MIC.
i bet my acoustic was nervous too.
it kept giving out funny sounds.
probably cos i forgot to wipe him down.
and yes, ive concluded that my acoustics a 'HE'.
bcos its handsome and not pretty(:
written
1:33 PM
Sunday, August 30, 2009
right.
Im going through CRISIS IN FAITH.
and trust me, im not the only one.
I was just thinking,
If im not ready now, when will i ever be.
Me, saying, 'IM NOT READY, WHAT NOW?'
it COULD be some escape route to skip this rite.
but i highly doubt so, maybe, im JUST NOT ready.
so, theres the 4 of us.
I know at least 2 of us feels the same way about today.
And i know theres one of us acting all matured and understanding about this matter.
STOP IT.
because, the more you do it, the more my blood will boil.
and yes, if you actually feell guilty that you're reading this, i guess it only means you've havent got a clear conscience.
true? i would think so.
GAWD, its people like you who makes me bitchy. :(
anyway, just read your blog.
WHAT THE HELL.
thats all i can say,
i had to DOUBLE CHECK THE LINK to see if it were really you typing all those words.
i dont know man, its really unlike you.
I know, the way i blog too, is unlike me. cos i seem real retarded all the time when im with friends and when you all read my blog, its so reflective and solemn.
BUT, seriously, i DO NOT act cool.
i mean if you think being reflective is cool,
it just makes me a COOL PERSON.
so what, live with it.
Stop your nonsense.
We know you talk to your parents about us.
But things which arent meant to be shared,
you share it with them.
Its not fair to us yknow.,
Just bcos you're forced to go for everything.
It doesnt make us bad people.
I dont know, WHICH PART IN YOUR BRAIN, tells you that if you get forced to go, and you're friends dont go, it means they;re DELIBERATELY trying to skip and abandon you.
Come on, we;ve got our reaons. and sometimes, its just and EXCUSE of being lazy and all.
but seriously, arent you lazy? like MOST OF THE TIME?
i dont get you.
And why are you so revengeful?
You're not that person.
Or maybe you are.
I just dont know you that well.
TO think all these years of hanging out,
i just dont know you well enough.
Im sorry if i ever thought i did know you and PISSED YOU OFF.
you can always post about this and call me a slut, or whichever COOL vulgarities you wanna use huh? I mean, ITS JUST SO COOL. F here and there and everywhere.
I 'LOVE' IT TOO :D
really i do.
written
1:44 PM
Yesterday was so darn hot.
Todays so darn cold.
whats up with the weather man.HAHA.
screwed.
so my sunday started out with cat class.
Nothing much.
jamming session cancelled:(
ive got rites of the salt later.
SHOUT and POINT.
thats the trick.
embarrasssing much.
OH, and ive got a HUGE feeling im going to forget to bring my handsome acoustic to school tml ):
hopefully i dont forget.
goodbye my almost lover.
written
12:09 PM
Saturday, August 29, 2009
SJC CARNIVAL.
it was.....................HOT.
like omg.
met up with rachel neo,rachel ong, elissa, joanne,tessa,jasmine and martina at 401 for breakfast at 8.45.
met jasmine up on the bus with tessa.
camwhored ALOT.
reached school around 10 and at 11, it was OUR SHIFT(:
trust me it was damn fun.
and damn cooling to put my hand into the whole bucket ice icy cold water!
I WAS PERSPIRING LIKE SHIT MAN.
shit perspires? oh shut up...
BUT THE FUNNY THING WAS, it was soo cold, my hands were burning.):
AND MS KOHH DIDNT SCOLD ME TODAY!.
HAHAHA. awesome.
so, walked around before our shift. it was so bloody hot.
Saw quite a few familiar faces.
and it was so hot.
yes, i know i repeated that three times already.
but seriously, ONE WORD TO DESCRIBE THE CARINIVAL: HOT!
went for 3Bs haunted house.
It wasnt that scary but it was satisfying to scream my lungs out(:
begged people to arm wrestle me.
and JASMINE DIDNT WANT TO :(
bcos she said something about her hand aching after i arm wrestled her the other time.
So did it with cheryl instead. OF COURSE with the help of RIGHT AND LEFT HAND AND FIONNAS RIGHT HAND AND ALEX'S LEFT HAND, they managed to defeat me.
CHEATERS!!!
HAHA.
so, sat around at the canteen for a while.
Sucked in helium and i spoke like some HAHAha, idk man.
i didnt sound.....quite myself.
took me long enough to realise that rachel ong and martina were gone alr.
geesh, left without a bye):
OH AND WATCHED MRS CROSSLEY GET DUNKED.
700 dollars +/- for her to be thrown in salty dirty water.
AWESOME.
I DIDNT GET TO BUY MY BALLOON.
I DIDNT GET TO GO FOR 3Ds HAUNTED HOUSE.
lastly, I DIDNT GET TO EAT MY PRATA):
oh and, i take SECONDS before i realise i know that person.
and by the time i wanna say hi, that person would have walked off to god knows where.
SSSSSLLLLLLLOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW.
TODAYS SO HOTTTTTT!.
written
4:23 PM
Friday, August 28, 2009
It started when.
you asked me for something.
and im all like DAMN i dont have it.
and you're all like SHIT i need it.
and im all like OH WELL, so how?
and you're all like OH its okay nvm.
-convo ends.. FOR THE TIME BEING'
It started again when....
you asked me for somethin AGAIN.
and im all like I DONT HAVE LA.
and you're all like shit, i need it urgently.
and im all like SORRY DONT HAVE.
and you're all like OH nvm its okay.
-convo ends...TIME BEING.
So, it starts yet another time...
you went AMANDA DO YOU HAVE MONEY?
and im all like im broke.
and you're all like SHIT i need it asap.
and im all like WHY ISSIT EVERYTHING TO YOU'S SO URGENT/IMPORTANT/NEED IT ASAP.
and you're all like HAHA.omg. i didnt notice. sorry.
and im all like uh-huh.
-convo ends-
and trust me, it goes on.
i dont get it.
we dont talk.
I feel like your ATM or some sort.
just your atm account with no money to provide.
oh well, over time, people change huh?
written
11:10 PM
Classes were boring.
Maths test was EASY.
i think i'd die if i dont get full marks.
so, CHOIR.
PRODUCTIVE.
i loved it in a way.
haha, so bused back with alvina and had some talk about some stuff.
im looking forward to the SJC CARNIVAL TML(:
im sure its gonna be fun.
even though we've got to wear school uniform.
i got scolded by ms peony koh today ):
she shouted at me. and it was all because i said i didnt want to wear school uniform tml.
Ofcourse in that bitchy voice i have. AHHAA dont blame her she got angry.
I WANNA GO TO BOTH HAUNTED HOUSES.
and i wanna get dunked(: i think its cool.
so planning with peeps for breakfast at 8am tml.
head our way to school and play around before my shift at 11-12.
Leaving the place around 2?
and movie(: THE PROPOSAL.
A-W-E-S-O-M-E!
im angry the orphan is NC16. and im angry that Final destination is M18. Im annoyed that vanessa hundgens is acting in BANDSLAM.
idk why. i just am. HAHA,
okay, so great day tml.
Tml's going to be better!!!
written
6:52 PM
Thursday, August 27, 2009
I walked into the house,
said hello to familiar faces.
Hunted for something to eat.
and fixed myself a nice meal of cereal.
Settling down, all set to fill my tummy,
sam comes jumping to me.
Flashing her Maths test marks at me.
50/50.
it stared right back.
and immediately,
'thats so much more than what i scored'
I know, comparing myself to a Primary 4 year old is stupid and childish.
But what the heck, i wasnt that smart in P4.
I didnt have my parents nodding and smiling at me each time i flash them my report book.
yes, my results, are that bad.
Why do i feel so jealous.
I come home nowadays,
i dont feel like talking to anyone.
Each time i do, i see my flaws.
Elder sister and her super pretty face and slim body. how i wish i could have that.
samantha and her straight As report card. how i wish i had her brains.
Get the picture?
Im not even 1/3 of both of them combined together.
WHY THE SHIT DO I FEEL SO LOUSY.
omg, im so disgusted.
written
6:05 PM
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
Well,
i cant entirely blame you.
after rethinking through the whole of today about what i feel.
I realised, sam's sick. And im not. Its only normal you show her more concern.
Guys are generally more interesting and fun to talk to. Maybe that explains you talking to them more than me?
Or then again, maybe its just me. Its just my life.
All ive got nth great to say.
Ive got no marks to impress you with.
Ive got no invention like timothy to make you proud of.
Ive got no NS im going to like justin.
Ive got no NUS position(and i seriously dont think i would make it) like benjamin.
Ive got nothing really to talk about.
My life at school.
what can i say?
that teachers say we're useless.
Im not going to tell you that teachers are always saying my class is useless.
Im not going to say stuff like how even people in the same cohort looks down on me.
I mean, what kind of a subject would it be if i actually did bring that up.
Not as if you can change anything.
so then again, i guess the whole problem is entirely just ME.
Nothing interesting.
My days in school. I dont wanna talk about it. Cos well, it'll make me look bad already.
All ive got to do is go to any teacher in school and go 'oh im from 3Faith'
immediately, that teacher would be biased against me.
True? yes.
everybody should know.
I try to talk. but i realise, im not good enough. Not as good as the rest of my siblings that is.
maybe its these thoughts which allows me to naturally build wall between us.
I dont wanna spend the rest of my life having sleepless nights and crying my eyes everytime no ones looking.
Maybe its just me.
I want whats best for myself.
Ive got teachers and even friends who look down on me.
Maybe im just too afraid you wouldnt accept me.
and i guess i can sort of handle the situation where by some people in school and teachers who just cant accept the kind of class im in, or rather just ME.
but i wouldnt be able to handle it if i knew even you couldnt accept it.
its not your fault. Its just me.Im just too scared.Theres nothing nice to share. Nothing interesting enough.Well, its just my thoughts.
written
7:48 PM
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
What the shit.
seriously.
Whats the use? if you never showed any concern. you never do ask 'are you okay?'
no matter how much i looked troubled.
but when sam has a fever ' why? still got fever?' *feels head*
OMG, i feel so screwed up.
'you do know i love you right?'
what the heck man. i dont know anymore.
I used to. or at least, i try to know.
but now, im just not sure.
I dont feel the least cared for.
so what? you give me more freedom than last year and just wash your hands off me just like that.
its no wonder why teenagers go rebellious.
Parents go 'i dont understand'
and we go 'well, you never will'
i mean come on, you dont ask.
ive got to be the one telling you everything.
Just ask to at least show you care for goodness sake.
time and time again, i tell myself, you both have 6 children....you cant show that same concern.
BUT NOW, i feel as though you dont even care.
seriously. i really do feel as though you dont care.
come home, you scold. before you leave my work, ive already left. and even if i havent, there issnt even a single BYE.
dont you realise we've not been conversing much these days?
i mean, its obvious you dont.
geesh forget it.
why do i even try.
Jealous of the unconditional love you both seem to shower on everyone else except me.
i guess, you just dont get it.
To think i thought i made it obvious enough.
and well, the only reaosn why i time and time again, always say 'you should be proud of me' and you go 'ive always been proud of you'
RIGHT, as if.
then again,
you're still a part of me.
& i still love you.
But, it hurts not to know that im loved back.
written
7:03 PM
Ive got no idea what im going to do.
Am i playing for teachers day mass?
Am i playing for juliana's performance?
AM I?AM I? AM I?
haha, oh well.
Guitared all the way in school today.
and let me tell you,
I CAN NEVER BE BORED OF GUITAR.
haha, well, i dont seem to be bored of it(:
Teachers day rehearsal today.
Helped juliana with her songs and all.
Alvina's you raise me up melted my heart:D
AWESOME.
and i say awesome to anything and everything in this world.
AWESOME.
written
6:11 PM
Monday, August 24, 2009
It suddenly got to me.
I just found out how much i really missed you.
How much i really want you back.
But i guess, everythings got the better of you.
After we settled everything clean cut.
I was very sure i wouldnt think about it anymore. i was SO VERY SURE that i wouldnt even care bcos i thought it wouldnt make a difference.
Little did i know.
It did make a huge difference.
So much, i bearly know you anymore.
I want to help you, really. I do.
But i cant help but think that its better off this way.
That we went our own ways.
No feelings involved.
Not even a sms or a call.
you dont seem to bother. and i dont know if i should.
The more i go into it. The deeper the wound gets. and i dont want that.
Yet again, its my selfish behavior of always wanting something.
so, if you want this to happen, i respect that.
written
6:42 PM
Sunday, August 23, 2009
SDYD was A-W-E-S-O-M-E!
I WANT MORE MORE MORE!.
so, today,
cat class in the morning(:
and later went out with cousins.
BEEN LONG SINCE WE'VE HUNG OUT.
too bad, sam couldnt make it.
that little girl has a temp. of almost 39 degrees now.
get well darling sister. :D
so caught UP. wasnt THAT NICE but the company was awesome.
the Dog is FREAKING CUTE.
and i think jeromes ninja dog is so bloody adorable.
and i didnt see casimirs pierced ear.
(!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)
i want a dog. NOW ):
i really want.
mummy, please!
Oh anyway, jammed at theo's house.
both played the guitar and strummed our way through all the P&W songs we could think of.
awesome to the MAXXXX.
written
8:48 PM
Friday, August 21, 2009
Counting down.
and ive finally made some time for myself to actually BLOG and go online.
I hope jacqueline gets better.
Im praying tml would be a nice workshop that is fun yet, no bonding games or whatsoever.
i think its stupid the way they like to PLAY GAMES and yet no ones really enjoying it.
oh well.
Ive a big feeling im going to oversleep tml.
so dont be suprised if i walk in at 12.30 or even at 2.
HAHA,
NOT MY FAULT.(:
so school works all in.
Im nice and relaxed.
and i suddenly have the urge to study.
'Make fulll use of your time'-mr chris chang.
written
7:39 PM
Wednesday, August 19, 2009
Right its like 11.28 now.
another few more minutes and its HELLO GHOST FESTIVAL.
i think its going to be a jumpy day tml.
Well, as usual right? i experience the same thing every year.
OH, this year shouldnt be any better.
and now, im up, STILL DOING MY ART.
imagine. super annoying. omg, i feel like slapping art right at its face.
written
11:28 PM
Sunday, August 16, 2009
BOOM, another post.
okay, bye.
written
1:49 AM
AT eunices house now.
and ps, its 1.47am in the morning.
gonna MuG MUG MUG (!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)
she and felicia has exams tml and they're not studying.
geesh, STUDY LA.
the two lazy bums reading this.
dont live in denial and get your brains working and study NOW.
history mindmap, eunice, do it.
felicia, whatever you need to do, just do.
i know its very early in the morning but KEEP YOUR BRAINS WORKING.
or i shall pronounce you both BRAIN DEAD.
written
1:47 AM
Saturday, August 15, 2009
I feel like studying even though common test is JUST ENDED.
i decided to leave many spaces inbetween cos i feel that its a waste of space(:
so where was i: OH RIGHT. studying...
8 more weeks till EOY.
YES, tessa and i are already counting down
My strawberries arent growing on barn buddy.
i just mastered coldplay on the guitar.
PLUCKING ISSNT EASY.):
oh well, thats it.
Saturdays.are.so.boring.
and i need a new blogskin.
written
1:03 PM
Friday, August 14, 2009
I thought i was doing the right thing.
but you made me think the other way round.
Its yet another sad story of one of your ex(s).
& im sick and tired of cleaning up after your mess.
I never thought i would say this but i seriously think that we should talk.
If we wanna end something which lasted for so long, i would think why not do it fast and sincerely and well, get it over and done with.
It'll of course be memories of the past and well, be remembered as something i let my emotions get involved in.
For this, im sorry.
written
6:40 PM
Thursday, August 13, 2009
I learnt a value today.
one of the few times i actually listened to the morning reflections read out every morning.
RIGHT.
it was about being gracious.
Being gracious means that you've got to consider that persons feelings before ever saying anything.
A gracious girl is someone who is reflective, who thinks through thoroughly before doing something.
A gracious girl is someone who never wants to intentionally hurt another person.
and the list when on.
but this three strucked me hard.
i found out how being gracious and loving someone(lesson of love in my previous post) should work hand in hand. If you wanna love someone, you'd consider the other persons sufferings with would sort of NATURALLY make you consider their feelings too.
To love someone, it means to love that person regardless of whatever they did which kinda links to NEVER WANTING TO HURT SOMEONE. i mean if you love them, seriously, you wouldnt have ANY intention of hurting them.
& to love someone, its to love them at their weakest. WHICH then links to being reflective. If you werent actually noticing that that someone is at their weakest(which would be another way of being REFLECTIVE) you wouldnt KNOW that they're at their weakest.
geesh, im starting to feel a whole lot of guilt.
Im not actually in a wrong but i really do feel that i should start to sort out my feelings and thoughts about alot of things.
I realise i just shoot at ppl without thinking and that im always thinking im right?
yes, im a bitch. dont remind me.
Yet again, i cant help but feel.
You cant love someone, if that person doesnt love you back.
written
7:52 PM
Wednesday, August 12, 2009
During lit today, i learnt a valuable lesson.
Mama( a character in raisin in the sun), taught Beneatha a lesson of love.
and it taught me well too.
Its about loving someone when the person is at their weakest.
and to no extent, should you feel any hatred for him/her.
Its about being able to consider, not that persons feelins, but the sufferings him/her has been through. 'the hills and valleys...' mama would say.
I really thought it was something everyone should have.
& not always think that the only TRUE LOVE they would ever experience would be from their boyfriends or whoever.
I must say, it meant a WHOLE lot to me.
It may sound easy but seriously, its difficult.
To love a person when that persons at the weakest.
to be always ready to forgive.
AND to always consider that persons sufferings regardless of whether that person has offended you/hurt you in any particular way.
and so for this,
i would like to apologise to jeremy eng.(:
written
4:11 PM
Tuesday, August 11, 2009
After a while,
it doesnt actually matter.
Thinking positively was what i learnt in school today.
'if you think you're beaten, you most slightly would'
yes, one of the so-called positive lines the teachers gave us.
MAKES SO MUCH SENSE DOES IT?
okok, im going to think positive now.
IM GOING TO FAIL MY GEOG TML. YES, I'LL MOST SLIGHTLY FAIL.
(: dumbarded school of mine. but i still love it <3
written
4:17 PM
SS TEST TODAY WAS ((((((((((((((:
but then again, i shouldnt grin so early.
HAHAH!
so compassed after school today.
wanted cupwalker.
instead headed for mos with jasmine.
the FUNNIEST, WEIRDEST, SCARIEST, STRANGEST thing happened today.
BUT, i need to study for geog now.
:D
written
4:01 PM
Monday, August 10, 2009
No #1:
Stupidity.
I cant believe im actually waiting for a reply.
issit bcos you found someone else?
someone else to take your bullcrap.
someone else to take your limited vocabulary.
damn it.
I never thought i would feel this way, esp towards you.
I actually thought it was fun yknow. To have someone to talk about to others.
But yet again, i dont blame you.
I blame THEM.
For making me even start on this ridiculous shit.
goshdammit.
I shouldnt have listened to the words. i should have just shut myself out.
I should have stayed loyal to my own words.
But i didnt. Instead, i followed the crowd. For the sake of not being left behind.
PEER-PRESSURE.
screw it.
No #2
Jealousy.
Schools meant to teach you good values.
But i go to school, feeling jealous of everyone around me.
Feeling inferior in every single way.
The feeling sucks.
But yknow, life issnt perfect.
With her always offending, insulting and god knows what else,
ive finally given in to stay strong.
cause, as i sit back and think, she IS speaking the truth.
and the TRUTH HURTS.
After this, it really depends how im going to cope with all this.
and yet again, the feeling of WANTING TO BE BETTER sets in.
due to, PEER PRESSURE.
screw you.
There are MANY others i wanna list down.
but i'd rather not.
see the SIMILARITY between the two?
no? yes?
well, PEER PRESSURE is the common thing.
i hate myself for not being able to be there for myself and hence, always giving in to them.
hate it like shit,
but yet again,
if life throws you lemons, make lemonade,
written
6:32 PM
A memory.
When the clock strucked 3,
Tears rolled down my cheeks.
As I stared at the face of a person, I’d remember for life.
His eyes closed, his hands clasped, with just a faint smile that appeared on his face.
Just then, the memories all came back to me.
The times he brought me shopping, the times we laughed and the times he was still breathing.
It was the day his body would leave earth with only his ashes we could still hold.
It was time to pay our last wishes before the cremation takes place.
People kissed him, Whereas, I , gave my final blessings and whispered , “I love you, grandpa.”
written
10:21 AM
Sunday, August 9, 2009
SHIT SHIT SHIT.
damn, sometimes,
i said more than i should have.
written
10:38 PM
HAPPY NATIONAL DAY TO ALL.im having menstral cramps.
I dont like it.
but heh, i dont like alot of things nowadays.
so... SUCK IT UP AMANDA.(:
ps, i wanted the words to be RED AND WHITE.
but i realised if i really did it, the WHTIE letters wouldnt be like obvious.
in fact, it blends in with the background, it looks as though i left spaces in between letters.
written
9:54 AM
Saturday, August 8, 2009
BOOM!.
i think im having major moodswings.
i feel so much better now:D
written
5:15 PM
AMANDA, YOU'RE PATHETIC.
i know.
written
4:18 PM
DAMN.
IM SUPPOSE TO BE GETTING A LIFE.
WHATS.WRONG.WITH.ME.
i feel insane.
I WANT TO LIVE IN AN ASYLUM.
NOWWWWWWW
written
4:17 PM
IM GOING TO SPAM MY BLOG POSTS.
IF THATS GONNA MAKE ME FEEL ANY BETTER.
BLOG AMANDA BLOG.
IT MAKES YOU FEEL BETTER DOESNT IT?
STUPID BLOGAHOLIC.
GET A LIFE!
written
4:16 PM
OH DAMN SHIT.
i cant help it.
I know i just blogged a few freaking minutes ago.
BUT, i feel like some idiot shit who just got shat out by some cow and left there for some other person to clean it up/step on it.
I promised myself. and i broke that promise.
I.DONT.FEEL.HAPPY.
neither do i want to upset any of the people chatting with me online.
Telling me how good their lives are.
I dont know how to reply.
Replying happily makes me feel so much worst.
cos, well, i wouldnt actually mean anything that i say.
But yet, NOT REPLYING?
WHY ISSIT SO HARD TO PLEASE ME.
one word : SCREWED
written
4:10 PM
Maybe if i didnt let my feelings get involved,
i wouldnt be feeling this way.
i guess its peer pressure too.
thats why im feeling this way.
i hate this feeling.
Of regret. of thinking why did i ever fall into this plain dumb tricks sec 3s just love to play?
Why did i even feel that the my reputation would crash if i didnt uphold that MOTTO sec 3 girls have.
WHY DID I EVER THINK THAT WAY.
In normal cases, i would have thought of the future. of how i was going to feel in time to come.
this time, i didnt, i just gave in.
Im not talking about doing drugs, sniffing glue of stealing or stupid things like that.
BUT, i guess, its something which involved a whole lot of emotions.
& its something im not liking.
written
4:00 PM
Friday, August 7, 2009
Another day at school. A celebration that ended at 10.30.
Cant believe i headed straight back home to well, start on a FRESH CHAPTER of geog(:
CT coming soon yknow.
Of course, another reason, would be my fellow friends who cancelled our outing to pasir ris, JUST THIS MORNING.
didnt have the time to make a date with some other friends of mine.
MRS VERONICA TJAN REALLY MOTIVATES ME TO STUDY FOR GEOG TODAY.
saw her multiple times and each time i see her, i go 'DEFORESTATION AND AFFORESTATION!' well, in my mind that is(:
written
10:55 AM
Thursday, August 6, 2009
Goodbye nice long messy fringe (:
Hello short china doll fringe.
Happy advance birthday s'pore.
Oh and thats just a random shot i took some time back.
retarded? i know.
HAHA, just felt like putting a photo anyway.
Study now.
CT! CT! CT! CT! CT!
amanda is hungry for her As.
written
8:55 PM
Wednesday, August 5, 2009
PURE LIT PAPER TML.
amanda, DO WELL(:
A1 please!!!!
I cant stand unfairness.
REALLY, i cant.
written
4:06 PM
Tuesday, August 4, 2009
Nick Pitera
OMGOMGOMGOMGOMOGMOMGOMGOMG!
i think his voice is like OMG.
even though he sounds SO MUCH LIKE A GIRL.
but i admire GUYS WHO CAN SING.
like how many guys in the world can sing LIKE THIS.
i would think, maybe only 1% of the whole worlds population.
PURE AWESOME.
god given talent i tell you.
written
7:23 PM
I kinda feel my blood boil whenever i see mrs wong yu qing.
Im not gonna elaborate.
But seriously, 1)her voice is EXTRA ANNOYING TO THE MAXXX. 2) she has NO respect or whatsoever, shes always yelling, and scolding and always implying shes right. 3) 3Faith dislikes her.
looks like, im not the only one.
so anyway,
school was fine.
i woke up with headache again, but i managed to cope with the pain during school.
MATHS TEST.
my full marks(((((((((((((((((:
Physics so DIFFICULT. i
HATE LOVE D.C circuits.
yeah, tough to deceive myself to love it but i guess its possible:D
I.AM.ADDICTED.TO.21.GUNS.
like seriously.
written
5:27 PM
Monday, August 3, 2009
I.LOVE.SELF.REFLECTIONS.THEY.SUCK.
contradicting?!
ive been distracted nowadays.
jacq noticed it during cat class ytd.
but i really cant be helped.
I cant focus as much as previously.
& i dont know why but all of a sudden,
i miss my grandpops BADLY.
thinking of how many years passed and how much ive changed ever since he died.
7 years, his been gone.
But i seem to miss him as though he was just gone yesterday.
Im not saying im not over his death.
Im saying, i just miss him.
My grandmother stayed with me for the past 4 weeks or so.
and i realised how much love she actually showers on me.
I want her to live forever and ever. Amen.
but i guess it issnt my choice now issit?
i came home today. To an empty house.
Im so used to seeing her on the sofa watching tv or maybe just aimlessly walking around that i actually forgot the feeling of isolation.
And now thats shes back at my auntys place.
OMG, the agony. i gotta get used to coming home to an empty house with only me,mrs piano and mr guitar to accompany me and OF COURSE MY TRUSTY COMPANION, ms laptop.
written
12:01 PM
Woke up today with a SPLITTING headache.
yet, i didnt want to be mistaken for 'WANTING TO SKIP SCHOOL'
so i went to school.and i couldnt get past the first two periods.
tried hard to concentrate 3rd and 4th period which was ultimately MATHS.
and i couldnt.
left for home at the 5th period.
imagine, i couldnt even get past 2 hours worth of lessons.
let alone the whole day.
i think i'd just die of brain cancer.
anyway,
tessa was being a sweetheart and followed me down to do all the shit stuff to go home.
during chinese lesson so.... her intentions too were like... DO THE MATH:D
haha, cute luh she.
anyway, gonna rest now.
BOOM BOOM BOOM!
written
10:52 AM
Sunday, August 2, 2009
FEEL HAPPY.FEEL HAPPY.FEEL HAPPY.FEEL HAPPY.FEEL HAPPY.amanda, i know you can do it(:
I HAVE FAITH IN YOU.
well, the only person left to believe in you.
so why not make the best out of it all?
AWESOME.
GO GO GO!
written
7:28 PM
Saturday, August 1, 2009
BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM.
SATURDAY.
its funny how i was talking on the phone last night/early morning.
and it came to a point where both parties fell asleep.
HAHA!. yes, on the phone.
COOL STUFF.
SCHOOL YESTERDAY WAS.........
CHOIR WAS FINE.
sat IN FRONT.
CAPITAL LETTERS SEEM TO BE MY FAVORITE THIS FEW DAYS.
I THINK IT LOOKS PRETTY AND APPEALING.
think so?think so?think so?
MY PUMPKINS ARE GROWING.
and NO ONES GOING TO STEAL THEM.
MUAHAHAHAHAHA
*does the tessa look*
written
3:07 PM
Friday, July 31, 2009
YES,
finally, the mail ive been waiting for.
IC IC IC IC IC IC IC IC IC IC IC IC.
was just talking about it in school.(:
WOOOOOT.
anyway,
i feel like learning SO MANY SONGS ON THE PIANO.
i feel like singing.
I FEEL LIKE GUITARING.
and i want to study.
how to live life if everything seems to demanding and tempting you tell me.
HAH, anyway,
BARN BUDDDDDY,
IM BACCCCCCCCCCCCCK.
tessa, YOUR APPLES ARE MINE:D
written
7:35 PM
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
STEAMBOAT at ong's house today.
FUN!
played the guitar while tessa played the piano.
ITS COOL HOW WE COULD PLAY TGT.
im jealous charlene knows how to play SO MANY songs on the guitar.
)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))):
AND A RECORDING OF US SINGING THE CLIMB>
with martina dancing like some mad cow and me with my awesome guitar playing(:
A-W-E-S-O-M-E.
SMSED LIKE CRAZY TODAY.
from 100% straight down to a 1%.
amanda, god bless you.
im so tired now.
cant get past 11 nowadays.
I.WANT.TO.SLEEP.
goodnight
written
10:07 PM
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
I LOVED SCHOOL TODAY.
nothing beats a nice handphone in your pencilcase during lessons.
went HIGH HIGH HIGH and started to jump around like some mad cow.
my arms were vandalised.
tyvm.
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&
Chemistry homework.
ONly tessa and i handed up in the whole class of 30 plus.
HAHA, omg, pathetic.
i know.
written
4:26 PM
Monday, July 27, 2009
Slept the whole way through classes today.
it feels good sleeping in class. i dont knw why.
its just the thrill of having the teachers getting you up.
HAHA.
AWESOME HEADACHE made my day(:
HAD A CONVO WITH CHELS AFTER SO LONG.
walked with her to compass then left for home.
I.WANT.MY.SHAKER.FRIES.
i guess when im sad, i sleep.
When im angry, i sleep.
when im sick, i sleep.
Why does sleep seem to be the medicine to my problems?
From today onwards, im not gonna tell anybody about my problems.
cos i seriously, dont see the need to.
it dampens my mood, and everybodys mood.
Why be a party pooper if i can deal with it myself.
Someone once told me that i dont have to deal with stuff like this myself.
but then again, i really have to.
cos after a while, i realise, ive only got myself and only me to blame.
All my weaknesses and strengths, if it actually existed, i would be able to pick myself up.
am i right?
dont answer that.
written
5:14 PM
I.LOVE.MY.LIFE.really, i do.
written
5:04 PM
Sunday, July 26, 2009
HAPPY BIRTHDAY CHELSEA(: you're 15 now and well, im stilll 14 :(
BUT I WISH YOU ALL THE BEST YEAH?:D
written
3:48 PM
LEFT HAND, please try to be a good hand and co ordinate with right hand. PLEASE.
RIGHT HAND, stop being so ignorant and slow down for left!.
and both hands, NOW YOU SHALL COORDINATE.WOO.
why am i talking to my hands?
written
2:44 PM
Thursday, July 23, 2009
So today was a great day.
Tired really.
piano's INNNNNNNNNNN.
((((((((((((((((((((:
cant wait to get started.
so right, CHEMISTRY TEST TML. go amanda go! you can do it(:
I cant stand the fact when you tell somebody something that you love but they hate. but yet they end up the ones getting it. It sucks.
like okay, lets put in a scenario.
Girl A: OMG, i wanna learn the piano so bad :(
Girl B: PIANO? OMG. ew?
Girl A: wtvr la. i really wanna learn it *smiles*
(a few months ltr)
Girl B: eh, im learning piano. Grade 5.
GET THE PICTURE?
i think its kinda annoying how no matter how much you want it, somebody else with NO INTEREST in that sport has, well, LESSONS FOR IT. omg, talk about unfairness.
'Since when was the world ever fair'
my mother always uses that quote on me whenevers needed.
I.HATE.THE.FEELING. omg. just kill me.
But oh well, that aint gonna stop me. right?(:
written
5:49 PM
Wednesday, July 22, 2009
COLD DAY TODAY.
keyboards coming in later. (OMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMG!!!)
I.CANT.WAIT. (:
and by the way, i mean PIANO keyboard.
&& theres so many songs i wanna learn. so little time.
Chemistry's coming in well for me. im contented with the little new things i learn about it everyday i revise my notes.
YES, i do revise my notes EVERYDAY. cos i guess it makes it easier for me to study :D AWESOME.
Maths today with tessa, OFF AGAIN.
cos of her band thingy.
geesh.. oh well, another time then:D
Im confident i can do well in chem.
well, hopefully.
BOOK REVIEW.
ihy.sucha chore...
OH well, time to read.
written
4:55 PM
Tuesday, July 21, 2009
Oh and i cleared EVERYTHING in my phone.
ALL calls, ALL smses, EVERYTHING.
EXCEPT, photos (:
well, cos i thought seeing your name in my phone contaminated everything.
So i DECIDED TO CLEANSE IT.
by pressing, 'DELETE ALL READ MESSAGES'
AND 'DELETE ALL CALLS'
so easy huh?
just adding some pressure with your thumb on the 'yes' button and EVERYTHING goes away.
just like that.
A-W-E-S-O-M-E!
walao eh, amanda, get back to work.
written
6:20 PM
anyway, some stuff to look forward to(:
1) MR CHOO's LESSON!
2) KOVAN IDOL ON SATURDAY @ HEARTLAND MALL WITH PEEPS (!!!!!!!!!!!)
3) ECLIPSE TOMMORROW, OMG. I WANT TO SEE!
thats about it?
and well, CT3.
Pure lit,English,Maths, im counting you.
ss+geog, go eat shit.
physics+chem, PHYSICS GREAT. CHEMISTRYS PULLING ME DOWWWNNNNNN.
Help.me.please.
god.bless.my.soul.
I.love.fullstops.
(!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)
and exclamation marks in brackets.
i think they look hot(:
maybe cos it reminds me of ANDREW *inside joke*
HA-HA-HA
written
6:12 PM
Dear mummy, im sorry if i hadnt been coming home this few days to do work and all. Im not gonna blame anyone but myself.i'll come home regularly from tml onwards? we'll see how.
Dear jer, i dont understand why im still replying your messages.
stop acting. You wouldnt even pick up my calls. Why? Oh and, Dont flatter yourself.
if it hadnt been for my cravings for FRUITS, i wouldnt have bothered coming home.
esp at this time, this moment, this hour.
getouttamyhouse. thesightofyoumakemesick. cruel? i know.
I AM SCARED FOR MY EXAMS.if my chemistry goes on like this, i dont think my physics can save me now :((((((
*sad face*
I.MUST.NOT.LET.MYSELF.DOWN.
I.MUST.NOT.LET.MR.CHOO.DOWN.EITHER.i love you very much.
but i somehow just DONT GET chemistry (!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)
oh man., the feeling sucks. you want to do well yet, you know deep down in your heart you just know you cant? '
AMANDA, STOP THINKING LIKE THIS. POTENTIALLLLL'its easy to set targets yet VERY demoralising if i dont acheive them, im serious. its VERY.
Ive got my attitude towards work up again. PLEASE DONT LET ME DOWN.
chemistry test this friday,
STUDY AMANDA STUDY.ishouldreallystoptalkingtomyself.
OH AND Jer, i dont get why i bother to call. guess i thought if you actually sincere about wanting to clear things, you'd pick up the call, First time, nevermind. 2nd time, nvm. 3rd time? nvm. but the fourth... STOOOPPID FOOL %#*$^%%^#*(!
OH, AND RANDALLS HANDWIRTINGS NICEEEEEEEEE.
AND ANDREW'S MY NEW LOVE!! WOOT!.<333333! lurbeuuworzxzxzx.
he is damn hot, i swear.
He is the love of my life. i swear.
i.even.watch.him.bathe. OH wait, i IMAGINE myself watching him bathe(:
cool not?
okay, 'amanda, get back to work.'
seriously,ishouldstoptalkingtomyself.
written
5:46 PM
Monday, July 20, 2009
I just realised i didnt eat ANYTHING today but sweets.
while, during lessons to keep me awake.
other than that, NOTHING.
not hungry.
no appetite. geesh.
anyway, this was so stupid.
AMANDA: OMG!!! I FEEL LIKE DRINKING BAILEYS (practically shouting)
(ms koh only a table away looks at me)
MS KOH: amanda? you feel like drinking WHAT?!
(people around me looks at me)
PEOPLE SITING AROUND ME: UH-OH.
AMANDA: OH shit. er, i feel like drinking (pause for 2 seconds) BARLEY.
MS KOH: YEAH RIGHT BARLEY AND BAILEYS TWO DIFFERENT THINGS
*walks away*
for those of you who dont know what baileys is, ITS A DRINK. alcoholic. i suggest you try it. ITS FREAKING AWESOME!.(:
im still not hungry....
written
4:39 PM
Sunday, July 19, 2009
starfish melons sin alon doo daaaa do daaaaa
starfish melon sing along oh dooo daaa leeeeehh
oh dooo daaa deeeeeh
oh dooo daaa deeeehhhh.
little monkeys sing along.
chocolate muffins good(:
chocolate chips cookies
never had fun
you put it in the oven
yum yum yum
bumble bees are always busy doinbg things that make this dizzy sipping nectar from the flowers its how they spend their morning hours.
BOOM BOOM POWWWWWWWWWW. gotta get get.
written
11:59 AM
& as time goes by,
i'd soon come to a realisation that what i think doesnt actually matter.
cos my concepts always wrong i guess.
my opinions about things, its not needed.
Its all about you issnt it? what you do, what you say, what you think,
its always right.
and well, me? on the other hand, im always wrong.
ohsweetmarcoroni.
get the hell outta my way.
written
11:44 AM
Friday, July 17, 2009
Xines house today.
Xine met a new friend today (:
JAIMEEEEEEEE.
tessa left earlier. she had to bake some cakes for her mother:D SWEETT GAL.
OH and she forgot to carry her bag when leaving her house.
AND I DID THE SAME THING.
i think xine's house has this spell or whatsoever.
OH WELL.
btw, alexine,i forgot to guide jaime back here.
shes still sleeping on your bed.
i got a text message from her while you were bathing.
she used your phone to text me.
SO SORRY.
return her to me on sunday can?
:D
written
7:29 PM
Thursday, July 16, 2009
Omg, finally learnt the INTRO+ CHORDS for what goes around comes around-justin timberlake(:
the intros like plucking and its so difficult the way you need to slowly change from plucking to strumming. mines so rough, i cant stand it! :( it needs to go smooooth!
anw, i think its cos i JUST learnt it, more practice and i'll perfect it. WOOHOO.
so, heard it on the piano today at elina's house.
wanted to try it on guitar. i think it'll sound FAB if someone plays that song on the piano with me with the guitar? COOL NOT?
the words VIDEO IT kinda pops out in my head. and so i decided to record my PRACTICES with my handphone. it sounds weird :/ I WANNA MASTER IT BEFORE 3am TML!. idc.
my 1 hour study break became a 4 hour guitar song learning practice. WHOOPS.
'amanda, watch your time'
YES.4 hours straight and i think i sprained my fingers, wrist and elbow, ALL LEFT.thankgodimnotalefthanded(:
my fingertips are like peeling. THANKS to guitar.
It hurts even when i type.
OH well,
PEOPLE WITH PIANOS AT HOME.
LEARN THIS SONG.
AWESOME. ahaha
written
9:59 PM
HAPPY BIRTHDAY BELLE! (:hope bacon and ham are doing fine.
they're so lucky to have such a WONDERFUL OWNER:D
17 years old aye aye aye????
GOOD LUCK FOR YOUR EXAMS TOO (!!!!!!!!)
you've been a great friend really, A REALLY GREAT FRIEND.
any problems, feel free to come to me.
you're the bestt! AWESOME!
GOD BLESS!
ps, sorry i couldnt make it for dinner!):
written
7:49 PM
Wednesday, July 15, 2009
Its great having a blog really.
after blogging, i seriously feel so much better.
but i think im an addict :/
HA!.
anyway, i realised how im being such a spoilt brat.
with me blogging about people looking down on me almost EVERYTIME for the past few days?
I guess they may be partly right.
I gave them the opportunity to look down on me didnt i?
the sorry state im in, i accept the fact that im dumb, but i am trying to study and do my best for all my exams. but its OBVIOUSLY not enough. nothings ever good enough.
why is the world so demanding. ):
WHY? WHY? WHY?
my third brother invented someting and the teacher told him to submit it to some place cos it was good enough.
Both first and second brothers got a place in university.
Sams grades in the report book tells it all.
and what do i have? NOTHING.
a total failure? well,im starting to believe in it anyway.
Im THAT daughter which NEVER did ANYTHING to actually have my parents FEEL PROUD of me?
im not THAT daughter my mother can go ' ALL As? WOW......~~'
im not THAT person my mother can go ' YAY! YOU GOT INTO __________'
im not THAT human being my mother can ever feel proud of.
Im just THAT amanda tan swee ling.
written
7:53 PM
'LOOKS LIKE IVE GOT TO THREATEN THIS CLASS TO GET WHAT I WANT.'
omg, the agony.
You've only taught us for 3 lessons.
GO AND DIE PLEASE.
1st lesson and you already go ' 3Faith, i heard alot about you'
2nd lesson and we've got ' ive got to be heartless to this class'
3rd lesson and now, ' looks like ive got to threaten this class to get what i want'
WTHeck.
come on, i bet 3Faith is F-A-M-O-U-S in school? among the teachers? even so, why do you treat us this way when you've not even known us yet?
mrs wong, i know you've taught me in sec 1 and sec 2. and well, its obvious you dont like me. due to some booking issues? but seriously, just cause you heard how badly we get backstabbed by our teachers, it doesnt give you ANY CLUE to judge ANYONE in the class.
Its a wonder how people pon school for 2 weeks straight huh?
i guess they're sick of coming to school and getting picked on all the time.
B-I-A-S-N-E-S-S.
ihy.
so anyway, maths, i felt, well, not very pleased with myself.
in fact, ms ong and ms teo were going so slow, it made it look like we couldnt expand -3m(m-1).
HELLO? we may be WEAK but we're not THAT WEAK.
i mean that question, OMG, SO DIFFICULT.SO DIFFICULT, I HAD HEADACHE. (sarcasm)
anw, this is totally off topic.
its amazing how the daughter who comes home everyday gets ignored when the other daughter who doesnt come home for ages, well, comes home.
annoying issnt it?
Coming home from a day of school, annoying teachers and such, and suddenly seeing a not-so-familiar face sitting on the couch.
'OH. elizabeths back'
and she gets all the attention while im treated as though i never existed?
painful? yes, very.
my mother didnt even look at me when i came home today.
idontknowhattofeel.
written
7:34 PM
Tuesday, July 14, 2009
'IM GOING TO BE HEARTLESS WITH THIS CLASS.'hey, teacher, get this straight.
Just bcos we dont take Amaths, doesnt mean we dont have feelings.
what do you take us for?
what do all teachers in sjc take us for huh?
with everything like ' DONT GO TO ______FOR HELP COS SHES FROM 3F'
what has HELP gotta do with the class ?
its getting annoying yknow.
Not only does it make my blood boil, it kinda damages my whole impression on school.
what? i go to school, only to have TEACHERS, saying 3Faith is USELESS. 3Faith is BAD.
hello, look at the results of 3H mind you.
they're no better. in actual fact, there are people who does better in 3Faith than 3Humility.
so WHY IS 3FAITH GETTING ALL THE STUPID REMARKS? oh maybe cos 3H does Amaths? huh? everything goes back to the Amaths situation.
irritating to the maxxxxx..
people from 3H, I KNOW MOST DONT LOOK DOWN. BUT THERE ARE PEOPLE WHO LOOKS DOWN. and to them, seriously, it sucks to feel this way. Just cos you do Amaths, it doesnt give you the right to look down on us. Same goes for SOME people in 3D( i said SOME)
i walk past someone and she goes ' SHES FROM 3FAITH.'
another person goes Ew. BAD CLASS.
wtheck.
goeatshitpls.
its NOT neccessary that ALL students in 3Faiths bad.
Stop generalising.
like i mean, 3D, there are PEOPLE(not sayin all) who studies everyday, whos freaking competitive.
WHAT DID 3F EVER DO TO YOU? what? we go into your class and jump around the class like some elephant and then calling everybody BITCH AND BASTARDS?
no right? so, why pass of such stupid comments then? please, keep them to yourself.
Its only july,
next year, 100% sure there would be some teachers going 4FAITH HAS ALWAYS BEEN THE WORST CLASS. come on, 4H wouldnt be any better.
ALL.THEY.HAVE.IS.AMATHS?
After all this days at school, it kinda feels like everybody actually looks down on people with no Amaths, whether they show it or not.
but it'd be better if they dont show it, cos well, we;ve had enough from our teachers.
and ps, ITS.NOT.OKAY.TO.FAIL.MATHS.
ohmyfreakinggosh.
written
4:08 PM
Monday, July 13, 2009
Maths was bonkers.
i felt disgusted really.
with the news and everything.
I looked around the class.
wondering how OKAY the class can be with the state we're in.
i mean come on.
Wasnt anyone like disappointed in any way? everyone except me seemed FINE with the whole situation.
as i read the questions.
not because it was TOO easy or TOO difficult.
I started to tear.
it was cos i felt disgusted at myself for getting me into this position and well, ive got only myself to be blamed.
im sec 3 for goodness sake. you cant just tell people to fail.
ITS NOT OKAY.
who ever told you that?
teachers saying YOU'RE GONNA FAIL ANYWAY. talk about teacher support huh?
i mean. WHAT THE HECK man.
no wonder 3F doesnt give a shit about anything.
how to actually WANT to do well in soemthing, when some teachers at the corner of the classrooms shouting out 'YOU'RE GONNA FAIL ANYWAY?'
wtheck.
idk man. i just felt like everything ive ever worked for crashed right down.
and i think its gonna be a hard time for me to push myself back up to the same confidence i had for the subject.
whatever she said today really dropped my whole mood.
I guess the subject i put my A target on, kinda went down to a grade so disgusting to think about.
Im beyond hope.
Teachers of SJC, thanks for helping me realise that.
I really thank you, from the bottom of my heart.
eatshitloveyouwors
written
6:52 PM
Sunday, July 12, 2009
dinner made me think.
Yes, it did.
and i was just thinking.
as anyone ever made a decision just to change just to fit in,
but yet realised, people still see them as who they are.
its like you pluck a fruit from TREE A and its rotten on the inside.
you pluck a fruit from TREE B and its nice and sweet.
and the next time when you bring a friend to pluck a fruit,
and your friends about to pluck from Tree A and you go
'WAIT, NO. that tree no good one. THAT TIME i pluck, rotten. TREE B better!'
then your friend would be like 'really?OH okay then.'
and he/she walks over to TreeB.
what im trying to say is.
Having someone to change the whole impression he/she has on you,
only take an easily ONE wrong move.
just ONE fruit thats rotten, no ones gonna go to the tree again?
WHY? because of THAT TIME when someone plucked the fruit and it was rotten.
JUST ONCE.
idk if people would agree with me on this.
but i guess, if you disagree, then, disagree(:
written
7:44 PM
SUNDAY.
started out with the selling of rosaries.
HOT. but was entertaining with alex and mackie singing and dancing the whole way trhough(:
alex and i can be GREAT business buddies.WOOT!
ive got nothing to say.
life's not very happening this few days.
Nothings making me think.
NOTHING.
maybe, im used to it.
LET ME THINK.
in amandas brain: NOTHING.
like seriously.
whats going on in my brain now.
OH me drawing the word NOTHING and colouring it.
yes, my dreams, and my DAYDREAMS. the big word NOTHING.
its either in colour/different fonts or maybe even someone hanging it up for a party.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY NOTHING.
okay, this post doesnt make any sense.
im telling you. i aint thinking.
i did my physics homework without thinking too.
COOL HUH? its THAT easy. Or maybe its only easy for me :X
hah! self-praise.
oh well...
written
4:42 PM
Friday, July 10, 2009
IVE GOT MENSTRAL CRAMPS.yes, such a thing to begin with. I mean with this being a public blog and all.
but whattheheck.
Im trying not to have violent moodswings.
well, TRYING.
IT HURTS SO BAD.
the pills doesnt help :(
it doesnt! it doesnt! it doesnt! (!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)
I LOVE BACON.
written
7:25 PM
Wednesday, July 8, 2009
Wednesday,
the best day of the week.
REDBULL(:
saw methawi again! my fav thailand girl.
and boy did she look different.
Day was fine.
ice age 3 3D at amk with martina,tessa,jasmine,rachel,elina and sam.
IT ROCKED man! hahaha
i wanna adopt a baby dinosaur (!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)
so now,
i was writing ALOT during chinese today. so much, my teacher didnt bother to ask what i was doing, i guess cos she thought i was depressed or something.
Wrote about how useless i can be at some points.
How short tempered i am nowadays.
How my blood boils when i think about someone.
my blood literally BOILS.
god please help me through this time of pain and guilt.
PLEASE,PLEASE,PLEASE.
Amen.
written
9:00 PM
Tuesday, July 7, 2009
Today started out with REDBULL(:
My first redbull ever. AWESOME i tell you.
so anyhow, We did a sec2 paper today for maths.
and i made EXACTLY the same mistakes as i did before.
tell me, how is tht forgivable? How is even being CARELESS forgivable.
well, to me, its a sin i wont forgive myself for.
Not saying i wanna be a perfectionist or anything.
but i aint that smart in my other subjects.
and so i wanna do well in my pure lit,english and maths.
subjects i know i can score.
and so ive decided. 3 HOURS DAILY MATHS, im gonna start on it again.
left for lunch after school at pizzahut.
homed at 4 sharp,packed and left for swimming with elderst brother.
all the way till 6.30 plus plus? and now im seated here.
Feel like going jogging at 8 :/
HAHAHA, random.
but oh well.
OH and i feel like waking up at 5 tml to jog too.
GEESH.
LAMA LAMA LAMA LAMA DUCK.
written
7:15 PM
Sunday, July 5, 2009
so today.
i learnt how my life seem to be so different from idk, people.
so todays post gonna be about, TRAVELLING.
I admit, i dont travel as much as other people do?
in a matter of fact, i dont at all.
Hongkong trip, i guess, its gonna be my first and last plane ride i'd ever have.
I know i did go to NewZland once, but i really hold no MEMORY of it. i was FREAKING young.
Its fun to listen to all stories ready to be shared by any person who has got to experience a, what they call it, 'another new world' and what do i gain from that?
I start to feel envious. I start to feel sorry for myself.
'why cant i travel too?'
the answeres obvious really.
im gonna be like OH,my family's not that rich. or rather, no time.everybodys timtables packed.
Its the REASON AKA EXCUSE used to make me feel a least bit better i guess.
The thought of not being able to experience 'the whole new world', well, it annoys me GREATLY.but i guess its life. and ive gotta live with it.
Of course, i would still feel envious and everything, but im only but human?
Hearing their experiences overseas. how i WISH i would be able to experience that same thing.
Well, even if i do go with my family, i wont even know what to expect from it. Cos, the furthest ive been with family, THAT I CAN RMB, is GENTING HIGHLANDS or some place in malaysia.
yes, thats it.
ppl who dont travel, reading this would be like 'hey, what are you complaining about? i dont travle too'
GET THIS STRAIGHT, im not complaining.
and its through all this that i realise,
no point getting the freedom you can have with your friends when you cant spend this freedom on family cos everyones too busy.
and ppl ask me why im so busy.
i guess it runs in the family.
written
10:52 PM
Well,
day started off with cat class which well, was rosary making(wowww)
so anyway, it was draggy yet activity packed?
left and went vivo with theo,dom, sam and uncle kenny.
Sam was irritating the shit out of me as usual. Whats new right?
after vivo was back at theo's house.
the fernandez family came over.
had some wine. AWESOME(:
seriously.
im SUPER tired right now.
im SO IRRITATED that my facebook mouehunt thingy issnt catching any RARE SPECIES of mouse.
GEESH.
written
10:49 PM
Saturday, July 4, 2009
Love.
Undying,
Unconditional.
Unoriginal.
Erotic.
and some say, sweet.
I guess i dropped it along the way.
i dont get what im saying :/
written
1:33 PM
Friday, July 3, 2009
When the thought comes back to me.
I'm thinking, were you right then? ithinkso.
Why cant i stop? ihateit.
In the simplest of ways, this thing, might just destroy everything and anything ive ever loved.
its that powerful i guess.
The more i think i should stop. The more miserable i feel.
Its kinda like smoking. once you start, you can never stop.
NEVER unless you really really really really are disciplined enough.
Its complicated, the way i look at things.
ive got people saying how my concept about things are all wrong.
Complained to my mother and she said that they shouldnt say im wrong but im just kinda one of the few which looks at things in a different light.
unlike THE OTHERS.
maybe it was true when you said i werent like THEOTHERS.
i dont even know if Its a good or a bad thing.
Im confused. Its worst how i want to badly tell you how i truely feel.
but all i could do was sit there and read what you had to say in a window on messenger.
Not only did i go through that, you ended everything with a call.
A call which really made me go all blank.
Im more distracted now. i guess its because of you. I cant believe i just sat there.
Listening to you.
Still trying to prove I wasnt, for once, doing the wrong thing. but i guess, i DID do the wrong thing again. no matter how hard i pray to god for me to differentiate between the right and the wrong, well, the results have yet to show. im not testing god. nor am i questioning him why thye heck he put my sorry ass in this world.
all im doing, is doubting my ability.
written
8:55 PM
Wednesday, July 1, 2009
Amanda, you WILL NOT give in to peer pressure.
You DO NOT feel sorry for yourself.
Neither would you feel USELESS.
Stop thinking so much.
You think so much.
I hate it when you think, it tires me out.
I squeeze into your thoughts once in a while but you never fail to push me out again.
whats so difficult to follow your instincts?
Stop thinking of doing something you know can wait.
Why do it now when you've got your whole life in front of you.
Do not listen to the nonsense people feed you.
Some may be sensible. but please, ANTI PEER PRESSURE PLEASE.
and i went,' thanks conscience.'
written
8:58 PM
Monday, June 29, 2009
OH, so the first day of school.
Morning was hectic.
I woke up and saw ALOT OF UNREAD MESSAGES.
when i read it, it all went AMANDA, OVERSLEEP AGAIN?!
WHERE ARE YOU NOW?
AMANDA! OVERSLEPT?????
AMANDA! DONT TELL ME YOU OVERSLEPT AGAIN.
yes, the words OVERSLEPT AGAIN keeps repeating.
cos i seem to be falling into this oversleeping mode.
well, cant blame me. holidays screwed up my body clock.
i cant sleep before 3am or 4am.
and so, my mother, fro thaliand, left ALOT of missed calls.
and so i called back. (ive got NO IDEA what time it was YET)
Mother: wheres sam?
Me: sleeping.
Mother: HUH?! what time already?
Me: what time?
Mother: HER BUS AUNTY CALLED ME TO SAY SHE DIDNT GO DOWN.
Me: OMG, ITS AFTER 7? (realises school starts in half an hours time)
*stands up and vigorously Shakes sam awake*
Me: 7 O CLOCK ALREAADY. GET UP.
sam: closes her eyes.
* 10 seconds later*
sam: HUH?! SEVEN O CLOCK? OMG! *jumps down from doubledecker.*
Grandma: (wakes up) AIYO, late issit? YOUR ALARM DIDNT RING?
Me: i think it did, i just didnt hear it.
Sam: HOW? rushes and changes into school uniform.
Me: IDK,you get changed, i'll bring you to school ( REALISES MUMS STILL ON THE LINE)
MUMMY! im gonna bring sam home.
mother: you?
Me: go late lor. whats new?
Mother: aiya, just get sam to stay home.
Me; OH okay.
Mother: you too.
Me: okay,
*hangs up*
EVERYONE GOES BACK TO SLEEP.
written
3:25 PM
okay, its 2.50am
Theres school in 4 and a half hours time.
Im NOT sleepy.
Just finished with my 20 sketches of Art.
im gonna be so zombie like ltr in school.
Ive got 20 slides of art and some touching up on maths and english hw before school later.
WOOT. im seriously looking forward for maths.
its nice to do maths at this time.
refreshing and it keeps my brain running.
okay then, i doubt i'd be doing the slides also.
Its because ONE, im lazy
and TWO, ive got no thumbdrive to even safe the darn thing in :/
and THREE, i think arts a freaking waste of time.
i spent about 2 hours sketching.
you know i could have mastered like maybe ONE WHOLE CHAPTER of maths?
but no, i wasted my time sketching 3D pictures. 3D so has D&T written all over it.
tsk, I HATE IT.
written
2:44 AM
Sunday, June 28, 2009
RETREAT ; AWESOME.
IM DYING OF EXHAUSTION
written
4:20 PM
Thursday, June 25, 2009
I guess it really got to me.
geesh, thanks to you my blog posts are getting emo again.
:(
yesterday was an awesome day. there wasnt much time to think :D
todays a boring day, which means theres ALOT of time to think.
ESP WHEN IM WAITING FOR MY PLANTS ON BOTH BARN BUDDY AND HAPPY FARM TO GROW.
i feel sad i really do.
Even though i say im fine now, truthfully, i dont know what the heck im feeling.
Im feeling hatred. Surprisingly, not towards you, but towards myself.
Im beginning to hate everything about me.
Did you plan for this?
For me to be like 'THE OTHERS' ?
For me to feel demoralised with everything shitty that came out from your mouth?
For me to break down and cry in front of you asking for your forgiveness?
'THE OTHERS' were stupid.
i aint gonna cry or anything. but you did make me feel demoralised.
so i guess, you really did get your wish after all.
written
1:13 PM
Wednesday, June 24, 2009
HAPPY BiRTHDAY TESSA!im using her laptop to write this post.
awesome?:D
I KNOWRIGHT?
haha,okay,so its her 15th birthday.
geesh and mineslike still a LONG LONG LONG LONG way more.
crapp.
written
8:54 PM
Lifes just a game to you now issntit?
idiot.
Everyones just another animalnow arent they?
wth, i dont care anymore(:
honestly, i reallydont.
geesh, i regret ever meeting a person likeyou seriously?
BETTER STILL, i even thought you were great in PrImAry SCHOOL.
but i guess through time,people change?
go eat shit
written
8:52 PM
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
Why am i feeling what im feeling now. WHY?
Why do i feel happy? WHY?
Did i expect it.
Did i do it again?
How i always put myself in that persons shoes, how i understand how that person would react and why.
WHY DO I ALWAYS DO THAT?
i feel so unfeeling.
i feel so idiotic.
as if i know what evers gonna come my way.
Did i already predict that this day would come?
Was it true when you said that i tend to put other peoples problems on myself.
Was it true when you said i seem to know everything and it confuses you.
I DONT READ MINDS. and obviously, i wont know everything.
But the question is, WHAT DID YOU MEAN WHEN YOU SAID I SEEM TO KNOW.
its killing me yknow.
You dont tell me stuff either.
I may know stuff but im sure you do too.
Stopping myself from thinking, i think i'd rather you bang my head somewhere.
HOW THE HECK DO I STOP MYSELF FROM THINKING?!
and now i ask myself, was it wrong to think about it.
Am i gonna be in a wrong again for thinking about this?
i guess so.
written
6:03 PM
Its 15 minutes to 3am now.
yknow, i cant sleep.
im hungry yet i dont feel like eating.
am i sick or what?
i've got maths remedial later at 8am.
thats in 5+ hours, i know.
but im gonna be up till after my maths.
i stayed up last night too!
OMG. amanda oh amanda.
if i sleep now, i wouldnt be able to get up!.
and so, my genius plan is to stay awake.
which seriously, wouldnt a problem la.
HAHA,am i crazy? yes i am.
i guess its EARLY MORNING BLUES.
written
2:45 AM
Choir today was productive,
well, sorta.
The feeling of leading, geesh, its different without hazel around.
and had a great time with everyone.
meeting after was way productive.
so anyway,
IM ASPIRE TO BECOME A FARMER.
AND SO, MY NEW AMBITION :
A MUSICAL FARMER.cool huh?!
im one of a kind.
tyvm.
written
12:05 AM
Monday, June 22, 2009
THERES CHOIR LATER! :/
why do i feel so nervous about it.
god bless my soul.
taa peeps:D
written
11:10 AM
Friday, June 19, 2009
This is self explanatory, I want a job.
dont ask why.
Its complicated.
Its not even family matters.
goodness, whats wrong with me.
BUT, i know i need it.
written
10:13 PM
IM blogging.
im touching a computer.
i dont know how long since i did it BUT,
i love the computer/
you get to see every letter you wanna see appear in chat rooms.
every button i press gives out this sound of CLUCK CLUCK CLUCK.
IM NOT OBSESSED WITH CHICKEN OR DUCKS.
but i do love them all the same/
just hopefully, they're NOT the cause of WW3.
written
4:42 PM
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
Its tuesday.
the day of matheas 17th birthday party(: hah, i cant wait.
so amanda,eunice,felicias gonna come to fix up her gift before we head over to the condo.
Belle too:D
Im so tired, i could go back to sleep.
BUT NO AMANDA,
clean the house, NOW.
written
10:31 AM
Monday, June 15, 2009
TODAY WAS AWESOME(:
caught ghosts of my girlfriends past with alex,fionna and rachel.
with rachels bangs and alex's straightened hair:D
so, RAN ALOT today.
and i was in a skirt.geesh, ended up jumping down stair and running after a SHUTTLE BUS after the movie.
OH, subway for lunch(:
head to fionnas house in a taxi after movie
SWAM.
went into a SAUNA.(sp?)
damn bloody hot.
i was perspiring like mad.
took LOTS of photos,
well,some failed but yet,still okay.
and yeah, im way beyond exhausted.
my eyelids are closing already.
goodnight ppl(:
OH, matheas birthday party tml(:
another day out!
written
6:50 PM
Sunday, June 14, 2009
Its sunday,
parents arent home.
Oldest brother's in charge.
Elderst sister's no where in sight. Shes freaking useless.
The olderst and yet, shes never home, ditching her other siblings at home.
wtf. and this is the part where someone goes, SHES A GIFT.
so anyway, was lectured by my brother last night about how im becomin so much like elizabeth(older sister).
BIGGEST INSULT IN THE WORLD.what the heck okay?
When i become my eler sister, its gonna be the day whereby you see pigs with angel-like wings flying in the sky.
which is like, er, let me think, NEVER.
I dont even know why im so against her.
Maybe im just pissed at the fact she doesnt care?
How she just leaves the responsibility to everybody else in the family.
How ignorant she can be.
but yet again, SHES A GIFT.
go and die.
written
2:05 PM
Friday, June 12, 2009
My parents has left the building.
written
10:01 PM
So shopping with mother today(:
awesome,
bought like exactly $100 worth of stuff.
well, IT WAS THE BUDGET she gave me. HAH.
FUN.
From 9am till 4 was shop! shop! shop!
and 4-6 was movie.
followed by meeitng up with dad and dinner.
I LOVE THIS DAY.
and, they're leaving for the airport in 2 hours time.
i wont be seeing them till like next week?
im so gonna miss them :(
omg,thinking of it brings tears to my eyes.
come on amanda, be strong.
written
8:17 PM
Thursday, June 11, 2009
I dont get it.
With so many other stuff piling up.
im so sorry i didnt see it before.
Maybe i was too full of myself to always think of what im gonna do instead of what you guys are feeling.
I've decided on what im gonna do now.
ANNOYED.
welcome to my world.
im gonna shoot myself now.
goodbye people.
written
4:51 PM
One day, i'd try to udnerstand,
god's plan and what he has done for me and to me.
But for now,
i need to understand, why he loves putting me in situations.
Situations that challenges the mind making me tired mentally.
and so,
MY day started off GREAT! with maths tuition.
it was VERY productive this time.
like seriously.
ive got nth to blog about today.
(: so long earthlings.
written
1:07 PM
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
Well, another day spent at home.
Dads 52nd birthday + 25 year anniversary dinner last night at marina square.
damn,my mother didnt bring the camera.
OF ALL DAYS. :/
so anywho. it was great.
anyway, im stuck with the decision of cycling on friday or shopping with mother on friday.
you see, my parents are flying to rome on fri after midnight, and so my mother asked me to go shoppin with her.
But yet, on the other hand, i've alreayd made plans with my brothers and friends to go ubin to cycle.
I've got NO idea which to choose.
shopping with mother can be done anytime.
But mayeb its the fact shes leaving for a WEEK?
cycling at UBIN, if i miss this, i doubt we'd go again, i mean what are the odds of having SCHOOLFRIENDS to go with? they wouldnt. cos well, its ubins an island out of singapore.
I hate it when im stuck in difficult situations.
and yes, i hate flying insects too:D
written
3:06 PM
Tuesday, June 9, 2009
So todays my dads birthday,
cum Parents anniversary :D
okay,so
HAPPY BIRTHDAY DADDY!Dear daddy,
you've been a GREAT & AWESOME dad.
a dad i wouldnt want to lose.
At times, yes, i may seem stubborn and all.
I feel im always the one making yoyr wallet empty.
The many hugs you gave me that made me feel loved and all.
i'd like to thank you for that (:
the many times you see me crying and POP comes out $20.
HAH, i love that ( not that im money minded or anything :/)
The many times you've got to stand ym nonsence and violent moodswings on sunday mornings. When i purposely oversleep, act sick, just for the sake of not going for cat class.
But yet, you still made me go anyway.
The many things you've repeated voer and over again, I always tell you that you're worst than any mother who nags. but yet again, i know you do tthat cos you love me :D
I used to feel that you gave more attention to samantha than you did to me.
but somehow as i grew older, i realised you were trying to prove that you did love me the same.
and yeah, i know that now.
so, the only thing i can say to sum all this up is,
Im HAPPY THAT YOU'RE MY DAD. cos without you, I DOUBT I'D EVEN EXIST IN THIS WORLD AS AMANDA TAN SWEE LING.I LOVE YOU DADDY!.
and HAPPY BIRTHDAY (:.
and now,
HAPPY ANNIVERSARY TO BOTH MUM AND DAD.te many years, you both stayed together.
Its amzing to count.
The many children you've had (6)
and how you coped and how much MONEY you both spent to keep us comfortable.
and well, not starve.
The many little arguements both of you have in the car
and yet, the love you two have is howeever, stil as strong.
HAVE FUN ON YOUR ANNIVERSARY.
lots of love,
Amanda (:
written
11:26 AM
Monday, June 8, 2009
IM STAYING HOME TODAY.& im delighted.
(no sarcasm intended)
ive been out the whole week last week.
and finally a day of rest.whereby i stay home,
and not think im bored!.
FANTASTIC.
written
11:14 AM
Sunday, June 7, 2009
AND SO, once again,
amanda saves the day(:
right.
so today started off with the helping of jumble sale at holy trinity.
woke up so darn early:/
But i shant complain.
I wanna bitch about SOO MANY MILLION people right now.
but i guess,
they're gifts from god ( quoted from father fernando's homily last night)
If we dont meet such gifts that irritates the shit out of you,
i guess you werent be able to be as loving.
I mean you should lvoe your enemies yknow.
EVEN if it means your blood boils to the extent you feel like smacking your head against the wall and dying that very second.yup, they're gifts from god.
The wonderful gifts god puts on earth to help humble ppl.
To help ppl to love.
without SUCH
BAD good gifts, i think love wouldnt exist(:
and so, i thank god.
OH right, so after that packed up the jumble sale and well, headed opp for a drink.
and headed to eunices house.
Watched my boyfriend is type B.
and reached home at 10?
MY LIFES GOOD.
written
10:16 PM
Saturday, June 6, 2009
I've not blogged in aggggeeessss.
and so, ive got lots to make up for.
Wednesday:Did a thrift shop poster with my fellow childhood favs (:
met at eunices place at around 12? started work while euncie and felicia went to tampines mall to get her SIMS 3.
so amanda and i started first. finished at 6.HARDCORE kay?(:
had dinner and reached home at around 8.45pm.
PHOTOS WILL BE UP.
Thursday:had maths class at 10.30.
but well, I went in late cos i overslept.
well, whats new right?!
so after tht during class planned to meetup for dinner.
So met up with tessa,rach,elina and jasmine for STEAMBOAT.
then sneak stayed over at jasmines house.
Friday:Woke up in jasmines room.
Went for breakfast.ate prata.
got home at 11am.
then left at 4 for maths tuition.
After walked over to Raphaels place for BBQ with 2nd community peeps.
got a taste of $5 per bottle beer.
it was NICE. im serious.
OH and had the POWER desert of barbequed bananas and chocolate.
BBQ-ed marshmellows.
goodness. NICE(:
so headed upstairs to his house and slacked with some fruits and all.watched some basketball and off for home.
reached home at 12am?
Saturday:Meeting at euncies house at 1.30.
put up our thrift shop poster at holy trinity and leaving to catch HANNAH MONTANA THE MOVIE.wooot! omg,the cowboys HOTTTTTTTTTTTTTT.
okay anyway,todays gonna be a LONNGGGG DAY.
written
12:04 PM
Tuesday, June 2, 2009
Photos i dont remember posting on my blog.
written
8:25 PM
So, i was just looking through my blog links and i came across my dexus friends.
DEXUS, was the student care that my parents sent me to from P1 all the way to P6.
well, as i was reading their blogs, looking at their photos. Looking at how much we've grown since we last really hanged out.
The times in primary 6 when after our holiday sessions with Ms lim, we'd go to the playground to play catching or any other ways to distress.
omg, look how much we've all changed man.
I dont know if you'd all like so happen come across my blog to read this post.
because,if that actually happens, i guess its fate.
i just realised that we were all together for 5 years.
imagine, how fast we split when we chose our secondary schools.
well, its just a random flashback.
PSLE now seems to small to O levels.
When we were P6,all we thought about was getting a good Tscore to go to a good school.
and now, i can bet, that all of us are thinking about how well or how badly we're gonna do?!
okay, i shall end this post now.
:D
written
8:13 PM
Monday, June 1, 2009
okay,
I LOVE CASSADEE POPE(:she rocks.
and so does the whole band of hey monday.
so anyway,
nick introduced to me this show ytd.
love of siam. Well,i only saw the trailer.
and trust me,the two guys were HOTTTTTTTTT!
BUT, in the end, sadly, they're gays.
in the show that is,in real life, they're two regular guys who are
EXTREMELY HOT.BUT, in the show, they kissed.
i dont know how disturbing it is but its so maddening! oh well...
Well,cycling with peeps tml at east coast.
before that meetin casimir for some books.
one last thing,
I THINK I WASTED MY DAY :/
oh well, cant be helped.
and CASSADEE POPE STILL ROCKS.(:
AND AND
JEROME IS SENDING ME HEY MONDAYS SONGS!!!!(:THANKYOU THANKYOU THANKYOU THANKYOU THANKYOU THANKYOU.
he just made my day!
WOOT(:
written
5:41 PM
Sunday, May 31, 2009
Im thinking about the times you made me smile.
the times, when we had so many stuff to say.
so many things to laugh about.
I hate to think how much all that has changed.
After that very evening you turned your back on me,
the feelings not the same anymore.
I did forgive you.
But the trust wasnt there,
i didnt feel a need to tell you anything anymore.
the jokes you cracked werent all that funny anymore.
But,when i saw your name appear on my hp screen when it vibrated,
i was reluctant to open the message.
I was THIS CLOSE to just deleting it like how i did most of the time.
but this time,it was different. i decided to read it.
As i read it, the words you said, the lyrics you wrote,
i couldnt help but to call you.
That first thing you said, really made me feel comfortable with you again.
It made me feel happy.
hopefully, you read this(:
written
4:08 PM
I.AM.BORED ):
i think im gonna go to the library everyday.
to just spend my time reading books.
to improve my vocab.
any books to recommend?
i want a maths crash course!(: anyone?
todays such a boring day to do my planning.
OH,and im definitely gonna start on those runs i owe myself.
choir doesnt start till the last week.
goshdammit.
written
3:58 PM
Saturday, May 30, 2009
IM AT BELLE's HOUSE NOW(:
went amk hub with her for some SHOPPING!:D:D
okay so anyway,
soon after,ntuc-ed with her to buy some shopping ingredients(:
and CHICKENS,esp the WHOLE THING,with the head and all still on, its damn disgusting!
OMG,
ew to the maxxxx okay?!
so,alots been happening lately,
i dont know where to begin,
but i probably wouldnt start on it as there wouldnt be time to finish the whole darn story.
shes gonna practice her F&N dishes now.
Os on tuesday.
wishing her all the best(((((((((((((((((((((((((:
as for the June holidays.
i've got a solid 4 weeks to brush up on my studies.
esp last semesters work.
B4 for maths overall issnt good enough for me.
looks like maths crash course is gonna be up for me soon:D
and yeah,i should better be getting abck to my daily 4hour maths habit.
WOOHOO.
written
2:11 PM
Friday, May 29, 2009
Previously,
you said it didnt matter.
Now,
i guess,obviously, its another case.
I dont know how to meet your expectations if you keep shifting it around like that.
the only thing i can say is ,'okay'
*shakes head*
*nods head*
how to? its like okay,lets go to ps.
i reach ps and you go,' PS ISSNT NICE ENOUGH. TOWN'
like how am i ever gonna reach my destination of 'something you want'
if the expectations just goes from left to right and back again?
how?!
tell me.
i dont get it.
I told you i felt disappointed with my marks,
you went,'its alright.so long as you improved' which i did.
and now,when the report books out, you're telling me ,'i didnt do well and that passes shouldnt be the case'
What.do.you.want?.
I want to make you proud.
but how can i?! if your expectations just changes every exam?plus,you dont even tell me what your expected grades are from me.
tell me, HOW CAN I?
written
7:36 PM
I wanna go out!
haha, just learnt hero/heroine on the guitar.
love the song(:
okay so anyway,
I WANNA GO OUT.
anybody?:D
written
2:36 PM
right,
so PTM today was okay.
waited for ms chow to finish with this parent.
came with my father at 8.50.
and she talked with the other parents all the way till 9.50?
and FINALLY,it was our turn.
sat there,
spoke to her.
left the seat 5 miniues after sitting down.
YES,my ptm lasted that long:D
awesome.
headed home.
written
12:11 PM
Thursday, May 28, 2009
Boom,
Bang,
Boom,
Bang,
Boom,
Bang,
Boom,
Bang,
last day of school. AWESOME.
sick in the morning.but it subsided.
leadership workshop was a waste of time.
mrt-ed with xine and i headed to martinas house.
chilled out till 7.40.
walked over to nativity church and said our goodbyes(:
Short and sweet.
written
9:45 PM
